My Life as a Teenage Dummy Plug
by Kaworu Naha ga bisa
Summary: Self-Insert in Evangelion's world was never being this fun...
1. Like Keanu Reeves said, 'Woah'

Disclaimer: I don't own EVA. And Anno, i hope you had plan for Godzilla in Evangelion Final.

Okay, so here we go...a fanfic that was inspired from one of the most acclaimed Evangelion's fanfic. Of course, since it was by me, everything would be much more insane, less polished, and definitely nonsensical at all.

Okay, enough rambling. Read it. Scroll down. Shoo! Shoo!

* * *

Ah, time to wake up...from yet another blank, dreamless sleep of mine...

Then again, i usually had a weird one whenever it was another case. What was it last time? Saints Row met Skyrim? I still remembered the dream. Damn Corn of the United's laughter keep spamming my ear every 5 seconds. Why the hell is my dreams always had me trying to broke something that used to be perfect?

Ah, nevermind. Time to wake up, as i said before. Perhaps something good would happen today.

As soon as i opened my eyes, i was immediately served one of those beautiful stuffs that i imagined, one of the more impossible thing to get in fact.

A naked, shapely, beautiful blue haired girl immediately appeared in front of me.

 _Mmm...Rei Ayanami...,_ I mumbled as i began to touching my private areas to pleasing myself...

Hey. I'm a normal boy after all. What else i could've done if a naked, beautiful woman appeared in front of me in my own bed?

As soon as i slipped my fingers inside my blossoming flower petals that i opened by my touches, i let out a hearty moan like how it should be. Oh, yeah. It felt so good when i rubbed my delicate fingers against my nub furiously and-

Hey. Wait a minute...that's not how a boy masturbating. And why do i feel like i'm floating? Come to think of it, this room smelled like blood. And why's everything seemed red?

As soon as i looked at my areas that would show my state of arousal, i realized several things.

First, as the carpet showed, i'm a natural blue haired human being. Yes, in spite of how the world seemed like in monochrome of red, i still could see the bluish color.

Second, i had the V instead of P. With firm breasts to boot. Allright, that explained my different daily ritual. But why i already knew about how to do it like it was a natural thing?

Okay, time to move on, because Third, the other girl began to giggles. And so does the other...all of them. Countless Rei Ayanami laughed in front of my face. Fuck. This place's really creepy.

So i did the only thing that make sense in this whole surreal situation.

I fainted.

* * *

Oh, thank god. Yet another weird dream. For once, i'm grateful for this fact. It's not like i changed from 5'9, 190 pounds fatty into one of the clone in Ayanami series and-

Wait. Let's...check the whole scene again.

Okay, the girls are still here. Thank god, they already stopped laughing.

Now, for the last important evidence, and...

Oh, shit. I'm blue. I'm really blue.

For the first time, i really don't want to be surrounded by girls.

Allright, let's freak out later and think about my situation. I'm no longer Fais (pseudo name, in case someone actually could read this somewhere. Better safe than sorry.), a fat, borderline obese 21 years old college student who would be a looker if i could lose some weight. I'm a 14 years-no, 10 or 11 years old girl who was stunningly beautiful, slim with potential to become a supermodel as my...ehm, shapes could tell, and happened to be a clone in many ways you could describe it.

...What? Of course i'm a 10 years old. Haven't you do the math? Yui didn't die in Second Impact, you know?

Ah, whatever. Why should i explain it to someone who's clearly not here?

The first thing i did, was to thought about my situation. Like, which universe i struck in? Was it the Anime, or the manga, or Rebuild, or even Campus Apocalypse? Of course, the first two universe were the more likely possibility, since it's pretty much clear that i was being placed in a large aquarium instead of freezer or some test tube like the latter two. I hoped it was the Manga universe. It's clearly the less fucked up one with happier ending. Also, Shinji and Rei clearly had more backbone in it, so my situation would be slightly easier if i had to depend my life on them. I know that Gendo was a total-maniacal-psycho jerk in Sadamoto's version, but it's not like he's that much bearable in the Anime.

So i decided;this's better be in the Manga.

Shortly after ended my first line of thought, i began to run the more urgent one:

"How do i get out of here?"

* * *

"Allright. You girls can stop giggling."

As if the whole universe couldn't be any crueler to me, soon after i began to contemplate my options (i declared that going Kamikaze by using my AT Field to destroy everything was clearly out of question, no matter how awesome it would be to absorb Gendo's arm using my AT Field) the damned clones began to fucking giggles. Their hollow laughters were like an off-tune music to my ear, like what happened if Hideaki Anno at his craziest played a piece of Industrial Music...with a pair of rusting metal door and giant knife.

If it was my punishment for written that Evangelion's crossover with Expendables and wrestling, then everyone in my world, please forgive me.

Then the laughter became even louder.

"Damnit! Stop laughing like a retard, you jerks!"

I stopped as soon as i heard my own voice. Why i sounded like Ranma Saotome?

Of course! Rei Ayanami was voiced by Megumi Hayashibara, a woman who had voiced countless kind of girls you could imagine! Haha! I have thousand of voice range to choose now! Shall i use the Ai Haibara one? Or Lina Inverse? Or Faye Valentine? Haha! I can't wait to see Shinji's reaction once he heard my slutty Rei's voice. Or even better! The whole NERV fainted on my berserk Unit-01's impression! Man, suddenly, everything here seemed to be not so dark for me after all. Considering it's EVA, i need every lighthearted moments i could get.

Suddenly, i heard the door opened, followed by a walking me and a bottle haired blonde.

"Okay, Ayanami. Began to strip now."

I stiffened as i realized what this scene meant to me. Either it would give me the information i needed to survive in this world by absorbing the information that Rei Ayanami stored in her brain...

Or the time when the existence of second living Rei Ayanami was exposed.

* * *

I tried my best to stay like what any clone supposed to do...well, at least MY kind of clones supposed to while the living clone copied it's brain pattern. Staying quiet while floating, smiling and occasionally giggling for no reason.

So far, they didn't suspect me at all.

 _Ah, here comes the bastard..._ i said in my own mind as the bearded NERV Commander made his entrance. Damn that pedophile Commander. Stop staring at your dead wife's underage body!

Suddenly, he stared at my direction. Crap! Did i say that out loud?

Oh, shit. That guy's really a scary motherfucker. I'll tell you, this guy would make Stalin and Hitler tumble in fear. Turn around, please. Turn around. Turn around...Fuck! Don't come here! Why do you have to get closer!

Ah, saved by the younger Akagi. Phew. It's a good thing that the LCL was a bit dark here so the Commander didn't saw my...discomfort. Shit. For a second i thought i would've gone!

As Ritsuko began to speak with him regarding the whole condition and progress regarding the dummy plug program, i began to reevaluating my conditions once more.

Okay, so far i knew that this must be one of those alternate world, fitting neither canon world that had been established. For one, while the tea accident happened as the memories from Rei told me, Shinji was being sent to retrieve Asuka like the Anime, unlike the Manga where Asuka managed to fight the sea Angel by herself. This meant that perhaps some things would've been completely unpredictable unlike those that happened from the Evangelion stuffs that i've read. I didn't know if it was a good thing or not. While it meant that i could definitely make some necessary changes, it also meant that perhaps my in-universe knowledge regarding the EVA wouldn't be as helpful as i'd like it to.

Also, i had to hold my giggle as the memories from Rei Ayanami showed that she wanted to spend her time with Shinji more, like when she made him some tea, when he held her there when he burnt her hands. And in spite of what she said later in the manga, she actually kind of enjoyed the time when he touched her...there. And she actually tried to touch herself once with that memory! No wonder i already knew all the good spots! Oh, Rei, my closet perverted sister!

Don't worry, Rei. As one of ShinjiRei shipper, i'm definitely would be glad and proud to give you two a necessary push or two toward... that direction. Especially since now i'm your sister.

...Wait. Why do i already considered her as a sister?

Ah, nevermind. Regardless of that...Yeah. I definitely going to have some fun in this place.

* * *

Once the horizon seemed to be clear, i decided to do what i can only do right now.

Get the fuck out of this place, ASAP.

I'm grateful that i didn't attract any suspicions from the three cold human beings in that room once more, especially considering that i'm a clumsy weirdo in my life back there. I could only hope that the whole thing would be played like that Teenage Dummy Plug fanfic, in that there would be no summoned gun squad that aiming at my torso for a quick kill, and the Commander found that i could be a useful resource. I don't wanna die right away.

Come to think of it, wouldn't an immediate death would be a better conclusion than having to endure the whole Angel and SEELE conspiracy crap while getting tanged in the end?

Shook my head from my negative thought, i began to reinforce my beliefs once more. No. If anything, perhaps this's my only chance to become a hero for once, to change the world for the better.

You see, for all my snark toward Mr. Anno's apparent flaws in this Evangelion's stuffs, and my weirdo, slightly selfish tendencies, i'm actually a guy who strive to become a nice guy toward every decent people i met. Hell, i was so nice that as a kid, i used to shake my hand toward every poor folks i met before my mother 'scolded' me because she feared that i would become too innocent towards the not-so-nice folks. Come to think of it, i was really lucky to have such a nice childhood. In spite of being a slowpoke who couldn't run for shit with pathetic stamina and easily getting ill, i never got bullied by anyone. At worst, there's always that one jerk who keep mocking my out of shape body that i never took seriously.

Then again, being one of the strongest guy in the school could give you some good protection, after all.

I made a rerun of my situation once again, and...damn. I'm really stuck in a situation that could only be described as the deepest kind of hell. I really stuck in a completely unfamiliar situation. I was just a nice, decent boy who was about to took his last college year, and now i'm gonna be one of the hero who would've save the world? Man, i wouldn't make it. I wouldn't...

No. I have to stay strong.

I had to forced a smile as i had to see the positive side of it. It would be a chance for me to really fixed the world, i would've had a better start than everyone because i already witnessed it all, and at least Rei's not completely emotionless in this world. After all, she already had her experience as a healthy girl with...

My smile became a genuine, wide one as i imagined a naked Rei Ayanami moaning with a bliss in her face, playing with her nipples...

Rei's hands...perky boobs...erect nipples...

Crap. I'm wet again.

* * *

Allright. In case that those jerks from NERV were unimaginative enough to create some cover stories unlike that Dummy Plug fanfiction, which somehow, i've stumbled into a similar situation (great fanfic, btw) like whoever created that story, i believe that i should create one.

Damn. This's one longass elevator ride.

...Okay. My name would be simple. Rae Ayanami, adopted as Rachel Douglas. Yeah, i know. Derived from one of the translation from another language for Rei's name, or...whatever. Have better things to worry about.

Background...okay. Separated from birth, became an orphanage girl that somehow went into school that was monitored by Marduk institute like Rei, just got selected as pilot recently, adopted father died a month ago, became reunited accidentally...cliches, and too suspiciously coincidental. But then again, EVA always had plenty of plot holes to begin with. And...wasn't that Kaji's sub-plots got dropped once everything going insane? Okay, so that wasn't a plot hole. More like...

Okay. I got distracted again. Get to the point. Get to the point.

Hobbies...well, pretty similar with Rei. Although i preferred electronic music more than orchestra. Also, can be chirpy with the guys i like, especially family, but could be distant with strangers...yeah. Kuudere reunited with her twin sister Dandere. Whoop-dee-doo.

And in possibly the sickest twist of fate...and worst of all, fitting with Evangelion's focus in fucked up, squick worthy Freudian psychology...

I'm gay.

Gay for my sister.

Suddenly, the ride seemed even longer than before...

* * *

A/N: Will i give my forbidden love for Rei Ayanami? Or will my nature as ShinjiRei shipper will dominate my hormonal nature? Or will Asuka steal the thunder? Or will Gendo killed me once i get out of the Elevator? Find out next, on Evangelion A.D.!


	2. Ryoji Kaji, Tokyo-3 Man of Mystery

_A_ A/N: As far as i concern, this is my best received debuting fanfic. Ha! I knew turning yourself into a hot lesbian would be a thing! Hot Lesbian Action for the win!

Eh...nothing's wrong with that, right? What, no! Eric Bischoff said that first!

Anyway, don't worry, T-B-R and anyone else who wanted it. There will be lots of weird sexual tension just for the hell of it. And Israfel special moment would happened at least once. Hohohohoho!

* * *

 _Relax, sire. Relax. You know who you are. The man who won't give a fuck to danger, and may had a laugh while facing on it. You're the most courageous in your family. Well, more likely the only one who wasn't scared of ghost earthquakes, but still. So why should i be so scared and nervous?_

Then, i slapped my head. _Of course i'm going to be scared, you idiot! I was turned into a clone of apocalypse maiden! In the setting where the bad guys had all the tools to win to boot! Who wouldn't tremble in such situation? Ghosts and earthquakes are nothing in comparison to this mess! I'm basically doomed! You hear me, myself? DOOMED!_

Then, i slumped into the wall, unable to find the words to argue against my position. It seems that analyzing the situation only made everything felt worse to me as i found myself going back and forth between being confident that i would change the world and confident that i'm definitely fucked with capital F. Gosh, i sounded like that whiny Shinji now. And i haven't even talked about how my sexuality became seriously challenged because of this recent event!

"Brrr." I suddenly shivered as the coldness from the air-conditioner began to affect me more than i could handle. To summarize, i'm a nude girl that was stuck inside a very lengthy and cold elevator ride which already passed at least 120 floors. Fuck. At least that guy found clothes soon after he get out. That's it. I'm gonna die of hypothermia before i even made my debut to this cruel, mad world. Well, here goes nothing...

"Oh, yes. Oh, Scarlett Johansson. Your boobs are so...ah!"

Hey. I need to maintain my temperature, after all. I don't wanna die yet.

Man, woman's nipples are really that sensitive. So sensitive that i thought i could getting off from playing with it alone. Well, perhaps it was a trade-off for their more painful sex experiences? Ah, but then again, i'm still a virgin.

As i kneaded my boobs more and even managed to take a lick on one of my nipple, my free hand began to roaming toward my private area. I had to know if G-Spot was really a thing in this body. Man, if you try to compare woman with male in sexuality area, they would look weird. I mean, scientists haven't even fully figured out the essence of G-Spot and 'woman's cum', whether if they're even real or not. Not to mention the fact that they had more sensitive zone, and yet many could only getting off from their clit. Man, i'm so glad that i was a-

"AH!" I gasped and arched my head back in amazement. Yeah. This body definitely had one.

Soon, i found myself surrendered to the primal instinct, still pleasing myself even after i had sufficient body heat. My fingers touched my sweet spots uncontrollably as my breathing became spastic, my brain didn't do much but to focused on reaching my peak.

After all, i'm sure that the sight of naked Rei Ayanami laying on the ground weakly with her...body fluids everywhere would make anyone who found me got a heart attack.

I just hope that guy would be Gendo.

"Ah." Fuck. Even my moaning were hot, "Aah. AH. AAAAH!"

That's it. The world of ecstasy just hit me hard.

Had i been standing before, i'm sure i would fell off immediately from how i felt like my legs turning into goo. In fact, my body was convulsing so much that i had to grip the steel bar on the elevator just to make sure that i didn't hurt myself accidentally. I didn't know if it was because my current body was a definite weakling, or because i actually had to hit my most sensitive just to reach my peak, but i was pretty damn sure: That had to be my strongest orgasm to date.

"Oh, fuck. That was so good. Oh, shit. Yeah...Ah...Ah..."

In the midst of my bliss, i looked at the current floor to see my whereabouts. I also managed to saw that yes, this body also a squirter.

I was almost on the highest floor.

"That's it. Come closer, you amish bastard. Take a look at your second precious doll, just like that. Get a fucking heart attack from your underage wife's body, you creepy asshole. Come on, Gendo what's the matter? It's just between you and me. Don't deprive yourself of some pleasure. Come on Gendo. Let's party."

God, i fucking love Commando.

Yes, this is it. Just a few floors left. Matter of death, would be decided now. Maybe going kamikaze on Gendo would've been the best for the world.

...And what a turn of event it became instead.

Another bearded man, but much more shaven, was a sight that appeared in front of me instead.

Ryoji Kaji, the seeker of the truth.

Thank god, i met the coolest fucker in this anime instead. Now i knew how Asuka felt toward this fine stud. Ryoji Kaji, the man who didn't take crap from Gendo, Asuka, or even fucking Zeruel. Ryoji Kaji, the only one who didn't treated Shinji wrongly in any continuity. Ryoji Kaji, the man who didn't even flinch in face of death. Ryoji Kaji...

The man who saw my private moment...

Crap. Worst first impression ever.

"Ah, Mrs. Ayanami! Fancy to see you here! You, um...got lost, too?"

"That is correct." I simply said that with soft voice that didn't betray any emotion, like how Rei was supposed to speak. It was the safest thing i could said in my situation, with how shocked Kaji looked and all. Had i didn't have my memory upload, embarrassment would've been written all over my face, blushing and all.

"Well, uh...i see that you're, um...enjoying yourself. Well, i'd better go. See you next time, Miss Ayanami!"

"Wait!" I spoke quickly soon as he gave his trademark bow, nearly betrayed my impression of Rei Ayanami, "Both of us are not supposed to be here, especially at this time. And i believe that i require some assistance in this matter. Could you help me get out from here, Agent Kaji?" I just hope this Kaji was as good in his heart as the original canon, whether he had the troubled past like the manga or not. Why people portrayed him as a backstabber was beyond me.

"Hmm...maybe i can do something..."

Soon, Kaji left myself. I just hoped that he did not betray my trust.

Then again, it's Evangelion. Any crap could've happened to anyone.

...Which just being proved earlier.

And luckily, which wasn't being what happened now.

"Ah, we're lucky, Rei! I think you can hide here." Said Kaji as he dropped a big sack.

"It seems to be spacious enough for myself." Said me as i inspected the sack. It was rather smelly, but compared to Rei's apartment and some of my friend's, i've smelt worse.

Nah. I'm not a slacker in cleaning section. Really.

"And you're light enough to be carried around by me. No offense, but you're rather...skinny. Just...do not mind if i had to hide you in our journey."

"What harm could be done for me?"

"Well...a little bump here and there. Especially if i had to be quick so no one catched us. So..." Kaji nodded at the sack direction, which i immediately take the note as he asked me to get in quickly. But as i was posing as Rei Ayanami, i had to act rather slow. By the third nod, i finally entered the sack. The 'i-am-tired-of-this' look from his face was priceless.

Soon, after i get used by the smell, my fatigue began to kick in. Soon, i wandered into my sleep state again, with small hope that by the time i woke up, i would become myself again.

* * *

My awakening was...eventful again, to say the least.

First, i was in someone's apartment.

Second, i saw that i wore a hospital gown now. Crap. Guess i'm still Rei Ayanami.

And third, and the most eventful one...

I was bound. And gagged.

Fuck my life.

And here comes the torturer...

Kaji?

"Now listen. I need lots of explanation, especially with how the fuck there's two Rei Ayanami in this world, and why are you not supposed to be here while she was being questioned by Doctor Akagi and Commander, which in case you want to know, she's fine and still breathing. You got that?"

I simply nodded. Nervously

"Good." He smiled and removed my gag. Soon, my breathing became normal again. But not before i let out a sigh of relief.

"...You don't need to do this, you know?"

"...Pardon me?"

"Well...um...i...you're supposed to...well, let's just say that i always wanted to speak with you since the beginning." It was half the truth. It's either Kaji or Misato that would become my first partner.

"Then tell me, girl. But i can assume you that you're not the real first child." Said him as he began to sat next to me. Damn, he was really the agent, the man.

"...Can you untie me first?"

"I'm the one who's calling the shot here, Miss. Be honest to me first, and i might do that to you." Said him, still reasonably suspicious of me.

"...Okay. But don't tell me that i'm crazy once i'm done."

And i began to explain to him everything i know. From how i came from the world where this world was nothing but a fantasy (i left out the part of being made by a mad man, of course), how i became a part of dummy plug, how the whole thing folded, and many secrets that was hidden in NERV. Of course, i also told him the important part. Namely, how the whole cast of Evangelion would died, and how i could saved them if he was willing to work with him. I stumbled over my words sometimes because i was so nervous, nervous that he wouldn't trust me.

"...You're crazy."

I sighed at his foolishness, "I knew you would've said that. And...didn't i warned you about this before?"

"Well, to be fair, i found you just...pleased yourself earlier in the elevator, and now you're telling me that you're one of the many clone of Rei Ayanami, this world was nothing but fantasy in your previous world or life, and everyone would've died horribly in it? Excuse me, miss, but it definitely sounds...crazy." He said as he began to pull one of his cigarette. But his hand was trembling. This means that some part of him believed in me. Perhaps it would've worked, after all. Well, here goes nothing...

I sighed again, before i spoke, "Well, then how i managed to know everyone here? Asuka, Shinji, Rei, Misato, Doctor Akagi, Commander, Maya...in short, everyone here? Hell, i knew that your brother and friends were killed by the Post Second Impact supply guards!"

Kaji dropped his cigarette as the truth sank into his mind. My gambling was a success. He soon stomped his still lighted cigarette, "You have a point there, girl. Or...should i call you, a man?"

I simply let out a chuckle, "I have to get used in my girl form soon."

* * *

"So let me get it straight. The safest way to save the world is...to do nothing, and let it go like how it supposed to be?"

No longer bounded, i soon doing some planning to save the world.

Heh. Kaji somehow mirrored my fanfiction's version of him...

"Except getting yourself killed. Misato wouldn't be able to do anything by herself, so...she will need your help."

"I see." Kaji took a mental note, "So...what's the best, and worst scenario of this?"

"Best scenario? The world actually became fixed. Normal climate, everyone didn't remember any part of Angel war. The only casualty would be Ritsuko, Gendo, you, Misato, and Rei...maybe Toji, if he was killed by Bardiel."

"And...the worst?"

I sighed for 'how many times, i don't know' again, "It would take a hard time for humanity to embrace themselves again. Shinji and Asuka were extremely traumatized and may never recovered. If they could, it would take a long time. Those two did manage to find the meaning of life for themselves...but the cost is too high. World was devastated even more instead of fixed...in short, the humanity get the shorter end of the stick."

I knew some people classified EoE as having a happy ending since Shinji resolved his conflict, but let's face it: The whole thing was too goddamn much.

"...Are you positive with which one would be the definite?"

"No." I shook my head, "Even though it leaning more toward the happier ending...this world was more like an alternate continuity. Some things were different here. I cannot be fully sure." Soon as i was finished, i realized that i just did the Gendo pose. Damn that bastard's gene.

"Like how Pen-Pen can write Kanji in this world?"

I simply nodded.

Well...at least this world is much sillier than the original Eva world.

Much to my liking, i guess.

* * *

"Maybe we can make...Rei happier?"

Soon, i stared at him. Damn, this is one hell of a handsome man. No wonder Asuka wanted him so much.

...Of course i'm still straight, dammit! Haven't i tell you that i just dreamed of Israfel special again?

"You know...in the manga, as you call it, she was...let's just say, warmer? Maybe it was the reason why the world didn't get the shorter end of the stick."

"I don't know," i simply said, "It might be the reason, but Shinji in the manga was stronger as well. When the instrumentality happened, he immediately declared it was wrong instead of having some introspection sections before he actually declared his desire to live again. Or maybe we can actually make Asuka stronger instead. With her being our wild card...she might get something done."

"In short, letting the children happy is the key to all of this."

"Maybe." I said simply in my logical tone courtesy of Megumi Hayashibara, before i showed him one of Rei Ayanami's stunning smile, "But wouldn't it be nice to make them happy just because we want to?"

He smiled back. Perhaps because my smile was too stunning for him to ignore it, or because the warmth from it made him reacted accordingly, "Well, i agree that it would be nice."

My smile grew a little more. Suddenly, my face grew sullen as i realized something. "I just hope i could do more than planning..."

"Hey. It's the best for you to hide from anyone for a while."

"Or maybe for the rest of time..."

"You know, maybe i can become closer to the children since i already...you know, found the truth already."

"Oh, you definitely should."

Crazy how it sounded, but i never being this confident with people i just met. Maybe because Ayanami's memory upload also give me some nerves of steel? Or maybe it's just because i became comfortable around Kaji.

Then again, i always talkative around people i trusted much. Especially my families. ESPECIALLY my crazy cousin and his crazy families. To call them riot would be an understatement. Really, maybe i got my hidden crazy genes from them.

"...Look. I'm sorry that i had to bring your memories of your brother and friends back. But i don't know how else i could convince you."

"Don't mind it, kid. I might not deserve my happiness again, but these kids still do."

Yeah. Things getting awkward again.

Man. These guys really meant it about understanding each others's 100 percents, didn't they?

Suddenly, a knock was heard from the outside. Then, more loud knocking followed. And finally, someone shouted with authority.

"Agent Kaji, we have to speak with you!"

I do not need to recognize the voice to know who were those guys.

Section 2 agents.

Crap. Have they found me already?

* * *

What would happened to me? Have Gendo found me yet? Will me and Kaji managed to carry out my plan? Or Gendo was already killed when he slipped on my...womanly fluids? Will i managed to masturbate again? Find out next, on Evangelion A.D.!

AAAND! TIME FOR OMAKE!

"Come on, Gendo! Let's party!"

Soon enough...i wish i didn't say that.

The bearded man was really there...

But he didn't has any gun, he didn't bring his bodyguard, nor did he get a heart attack.

No. He decided to ditch the amish look.

Now...he was a bearded Freddie Mercury that just returned from Blue Oysters.

In short, he had that gayass chainmail vest and leather pants on.

"I DON'T NEED THE PANTS!", he said as he dropped his pants. Holy shit, his pubic hairs was like a jungle! AND HE'S HUGE! "I'M GONNA FUCK YOU NOOOOOOOW!"

And so, my virginity ended in the most confusing sex that was wrong on so many level. All the wrong subtext were there.

And the worst part?

"Ah..."

I enjoyed it...


	3. Ice cream!

Disclaimer: I'm tired of this shit.

Also, to anon: Yes, the title's familiar. It's a reference to the old fanfic that inspired this one, and that Nickelodeon cartoon. God, Nick's stink of rotten balooney poney now.

And to Blitz: Glad that i made you lolled and rolled!

* * *

Fuck. The section 2's here.

"Oh, shit! Kaji, what should i do?"

"Go to the closet. And don't create any commotion."

Ah, yes. The closet. The old trick never failed, i guess.

Still, no time for being snarky and over-observant. It's my life and Kaji's that were on the line, man.

As i passed the bedroom, i noticed a hidden set of surveillance set. My heart raced even more as my panic began to grow even more, but soon i managed to calm myself. Kaji must be know about the hidden camera and microphone as well, so he must have hacked it or something before he interrogated me. Soon, i managed to get into the closet without any trouble. This little body may have it's use, after all. Still, i would miss my 300+ bench press and my naturally big traps. Now that i mentioned it, it seemed that my family were naturally strong. And anyway, how the hell did my father and brother's arms were so ripped? I swore, they ate less than supermodel on diet!

Ah, my family. If i wasn't being trapped in an emotionless girl's body, i would shed some tears for you all...

"What took you so long?"

"An agent needs to make himself look ready, sir. Especially the...ladies man like me."

"Hmph. Said the unshaven bum."

The voices brought me back to the world, and soon, i did my first spying job. Nothing much i could hear after that, as both man lowered their voices to avoid and make unwanted commotion. But as far as i knew, they were talking about some packages. I sighed in relief at their dialogues suggested that Gendo hadn't found out about me...yet.

Soon after i certain that the coast's clear, i made my way into the living room to talk and discuss with Kaji again.

He didn't look...happy...

"How is it?"

The man's scowl didn't disappear at my attempt to start conversation again, making everything even more off. He then slide a picture on me, and soon my eyes grew wide as i took a good look at the picture.

It was Kaji himself, photographed as he sneaking around on the dummy Marduk Group.

"You know something about this?"

"It's...it's you...when you...instigate the Marduk institute..." I stumbled my words as the realization began to struck me. Had i could seen my own face, i'd bet that i would looked even paler than usual.

"Yeah." He let out a sigh, which slightly brought me out to the reality, "I guess my spy work's not so secret after all. The Commander already knew..." He finally let himself to show his trademark grin. Bad move, Kaji. It only made everything even worse.

"Kaji...i'm afraid the implications are even worse than that..."

"What?"

"I...in the manga, when you instigate the group, the one who following you was...the Commander himself." I said, and as soon as his eyes widened, i cannot maintain direct contact with him, far too overwhelmed with the new information.

"You mean..."

"Yeah. We're facing the manga's Gendo. He's much insane and cruel...and far more involved in the story as well. We might even walking into his trap by now, and...he probably know something or two about me as well." I explained thoroughly.

"So, he's not sending these because he knows about me. These photos are for..."

"Yeah. To make you an offer you couldn't refuse."

Slowly, my fingers drifted, unconsciously ripped the photo apart. I really, really felt horrible.

"Damn. This isn't supposed to be happening. Your death would've happened because you don't have much to begin with, but now..."

"I have more legit reason to sacrifice myself, being one of Gendo's disposable tool. Damn. I guess this world has stable destiny board, after all..."

The room was silenced as we felt that hope slowly dissipate from the room. And then... "Or maybe..."

"What?"

"Maybe i'm just seeing the other side of the story that's being untold?" I explained as i began to become more animated like my old self. I could felt my trembling self getting more stable, "Maybe we're just looking at the explanation for why Ryoji Kaji, decided to just let someone killed him without any plan or twist?"

"Are you want to say, that you're experiencing the other story of Evangelion, that was never written in the first place?"

"Well, that's the only explanation. After all, perhaps Gendo was the one who killed you as well in the manga. Your killer was unidentified, but in the manga, the killer wore a glove like Gendo himself."

"Crazy asshole.", He said, which i nodded in agreement. "And is that information supposed to help us in any way?"

"Well, that suggested for all new things that happened, the story still not changing that much."

"...Aren't we expecting to be able to make change in the first place."

"But we have more time to prepare, at least. If my appearance really made Gendo this more involved..."

"I get it. Everything would be much dangerous than we'd prefer."

And so, we decided that for now, everything still went better than expected.

I hope so.

* * *

Finally, the sun rise.

And i went out of my closet.

Yeah. I slept there, in the small, stinky closet room, for our own safety... just today.

And maybe for the next days. And the day after. Again and again.

Damn. This world sucks. Damn that Gendo. Were you really had to be this fucking paranoid? It's bad enough that you put all those fucking cameras on your own clueless son's room, but to make sure that a periodical program would checking on the system and would find any suspicious, hidden programs, no matter how well hidden they were?

At least Naoko didn't make MAGI more thorough in their searching. Good thing that the bad guys always somewhat kinda loose in their big brother's imitation.

"Morning." Said Kaji, eating his self-made toast.

"Urrrgh...Morning, too. Is it really safe now, Kaji?" I said as i flexed my stiff, weary muscles. Man, even with much smaller body, it still felt cramped there. But at least Kaji still had a spare futon here.

"Yeah. I have my second anti-surveillance program covering our asses. We won't have to worry for anyone in NERV for at least four more hours. You're free for now."

Soon as my small warming-up was done, i uttered my ultimate concern for myself while i ate one of the toast, the one that has been haggling my minds for hours, "I don't want to stay on the closet for the rest of the day."

Kaji chuckled at what i just said, before added by himself, "I don't think your eyes and skin can get any redder and paler, if that's your concern."

"Haha." I sarcastically laughed, albeit i felt a little better by his joke, "Thank you, fine sire. But this fine young lass has more concern and need than preserving her crimson eyes, or her porcelain skin."

"I know, i know. You need more room and a fresh air, after all."

"Bingo. You have an idea?"

"You have to stay outside, in that case. But i'm afraid we have to take some...extra care so you won't be spotted.." He said as he pointed his thumb to his golf bag. And that's one hell of a big bag.

"Great. More hiding in the bag routine." I sighed.

"So you'd rather be in the closet, then?"

"Anything but that...", I said as i motioned my hand in negative way to emphasize my point.

"So you're going to the bag, then."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Oh, yeah. You're gonna need some disguises. Can't let Section 2 somehow reported that there are two Ayanamis in the different part of town."

I groaned again, as i slumped into the desk. Ignored Kaji's amused chuckle at my expense, i uttered.

"This world sucks..."

* * *

Soon after my bath (which still took only 15 minutes like my usual routine, and half of them were to find out if by became a girl for 2 days changed my orientation. Nope, still straight...or lesbian, in this case. Although i get slightly aroused by images of Shinji's naked body, but he was modeled after a girl, so it didn't matter...or did it?), i went into the bag...

With the only changes were my slightly combed hair, a glasses, and a jeans and a t-shirt that's not leaving too much of imagination.

Basically, i looked good. Real good.

And still not changed too much.

"So i'm gonna pull a Clark Kent here and we're good? Really? You think it's enough?"

"Why not? We don't have much time to prepare, and Rei's only clothing are her school uniform, right? I don't think anyone would really notice. And besides..." he started to grin, "I can see why Gendo wants to reunite with his wife so much. You looked so good in that form-fitting clothes."

"Ah, screw you, unshaven pedo."

"I'd rather do Asuka."

"So do i."

Kaji looked slightly astounded at my remark, but soon he caught himself on the loop.

"I'm sorry. I kinda forget that you used to be...different..."

"I know. I know."

* * *

"So this is Tokyo-3..."

"Nice place, isn't it?" Kaji said as he watched the beautiful scenery besides me. The sight made me really forget about my fatique from being cramped for a while, but soon i groaned as the pain reminded me. "Shinji told me about this place once. He found it when he ran away from home when Misato chewed him out when he decided to act out of her order. It's a good thing that Misato finally showed that she does care for him before he left for good."

"I know you're the second closest person to Shinji after Misato. You two are basically his substitute parents. What do you think about him?"

"Good kid, but sell himself too short of his own accomplishment. I'd be nice if you can really make him at least as brave as he's capable."

"I'm gonna look for it." I said, which is the truth. Well, half of it at least. I also gonna have some fun with that broody kid.

"Good. He deserves more." He said as he nodded.

"Correct me, Kaji, but were the EVA pilot get paid? I mean, this is a dangerous job, after all."

"Hmm...I don't know, but from what i've seen, Misato's figures are...underpaid, to say the least. After all, these kids are, quiet possibly, being conditioned since they were only little kids to pilot for their own reason."

"Just like how Misato became a Captain to enact her revenge against the angels."

"Correct. Considering their psychology, i don't think getting paid would be their concern at all. And even if they do, they would be very underpaid like Misato's."

I sighed as my suspicion became true. "NERV's being run by idiotic bastards."

"That's quiet of a...generalization. You know as well as i do that these guys are far more manipulative to be idiots."

"Still, even throwing the bit about their human abuses, NERV must be the least competent military government in history. I mean, what kind of military who would not even trained their best soldier for the war that would end the world if the human lost just once?"

"I agree, in that case. Shinji's possibly even better than Asuka, and yet they didn't even brought him here until the very day the attack begin. Had Yui didn't interfere..."

"Not just Shinji." I said as i pointed to myself. "You're looking at possibly the most wasted potential of all."

"Huh?"

"The dummy plug." I simply stated as i began to stand up from my sitting position before i explained further, "A half-angel who's extremely loyal to the commander and the cause of her missions? Doesn't that sounds like a big investment to you, especially with how the dummy plug essentially changing according to Rei's psychology. He could have an autonomous, completely reliable and very powerful disposable pilots, without the need to use his son at all. And what he did? The core of the dummy plug, Rei herself, is to put shortly, the weakest of every EVA pilot for unknown reason! And that's not dwindling into how the dummy plug system is essentially a pure fucking failure! Uncontrollable, totally late in the development, only usable for once..."

"I get it, i get it." Kaji said as he grew more irritated at my rant. At least initially. Soon, he came into conclusion, "You know, i begin to understand why you have such low opinion on these guys's intelligence."

"Ah, don't mention it." I said as i waved my hand, "People in my world, including the corporate also have done some completely stupid things. I also have done many mistakes. It's just...you know, me being observant."

"So your world's just like us. Full of terrible mistakes and lacks of oversight that lead to suffering of others."

"Except we don't have giant, rampaging aliens..."

Both of us let out a chuckle at this world's expense.

"I see. Well, it's good to have another talk with you, but um...i'm afraid i have to go. Duty call. I believe you will be fine on yourself, okay?"

I simply nodded, which Kaji returned by his trademark bow before he stepped into the car.

Minutes after the sounds of his revving car machine not audible anymore, i began to get bored. Surely, it's one of a view, but there's nothing else here. Well, except a good spot for suicide, which i won't do any soon.

And i came to a decision.

It's a good thing that Kaji left me with some money.

* * *

"So...vanilla is your...favorite flavor?"

"Hmhm." I simply responded at the ice cream vendor while nodded at the same time. One thing i wanted to know is if Ice Cream tasted better for girl like Ranma said.

It seems so. But then again, my original body's teeth are a little too hypersensitive.

"Why did you ask?" I said after i finished the scoop. Good thing that business was a little slow that day.

"Ah, nothing. It's just that...i'm sorry, Miss. Don't want to be rude. But you're so... pale. Reminded me of ice cream."

"Yeah, i know. It's funny, but it's...actually rare that people talked about my albinism and hair. It's like if there's something...weirder about me." I simply explained, which is the truth. People avoided Rei Ayanami not because of her strange pigmentation. They avoided her because she simply emitting an aura of...uneasiness around her.

"Ah, i really sorry then! I don't want to offend you! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" The man bowed at me repeatedly with every sorry.

"No, no. It's okay. It's okay. You really didn't harm me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, yeah." I said as the man stopped his begging for forgiveness. God, i forget that Japanese were an epitome of politeness and self-depreciation. Even if there's just some people who really embodied this...really, the situation was kinda embarrassing.

"Nothing harmed, really?"

"Hmm." I nodded as i gave him a smile while nodding.

Oh.

As i opened my eyes and stopped smiling, i saw the man seemly mindblowed by what he just saw. Indeed, i would reacted the same if someone showed me the same thing like i just did to him.

I just gave him one of Rei Ayanami's beautiful smile.

"I...i can see why no one talked bad about you, miss...it wouldn't be appropriate to mock someone who has such..."

He stopped himself as he realized what he just about to say, and i could see his faint blush on his cheek.

And i believe i had one too.

Soon, i excused myself to avoid further embarrassment for both of us, not even bothered to ask for a change. It seems that it was really for the good, as i could hear him faintly said something about me being attractive or so.

Could this day get any weirder?

* * *

I shouldn't ask.

Now raining, i had to hide in one of the small park for kids to avoid further soaking of my clothes. Day's getting darker, and i had to meet Kaji at my location soon.

Man, i always caught flu easily. Just like the rest of my family. I wonder if half-angels are more resistant against diseases?

Speaking of sickness, i remembered some of fanfictions where Shinji had to taking care of the ill Rei. Too bad that all of them became deadfic.

Soon, the rain became light enough for me to trespass it safely. Better be on time than sorry.

But soon, at one of the corner of the street.

"You...you are me..."

I met the original.

"H...hi, Rei."

She didn't answer. Typical of Rei's. What a rude girl.

Then again, she's quiet...shocked.

"You...are you one of the defective clone?"

I shat myself. Gendo really knew something about me.

"I shall call the Commander."

Oh, no.

Fuck my life.

I shall run to that hill, killed myself, and let Kaji fix the whole mess by himself.

Yeah, right.

But as the time grew short, i did the thing i believed the most right thing i had to do.

I knocked my sister out before the Commander picked the call.

* * *

"...Well, this is completely...unexpected."

"I agree." I said shortly. Still had to catch my breath from carrying Rei all over the town.

"So...we're safe?"

"I think...i managed to fool Gendo into thinking that i just wanted to ask about Rei's further assignment...It's a good thing that the dummy plug updating made me remember how Rei talks."

"Still...what the hell are we going to do with her once she awake?"

"Um...expecting the amnesia thing?"

"That would...only make everything even more complicated."

"I agree."

"Don't have anything else to say but that?"

I simply showed him my trembling hands from both fatique and the horror thought of my consequences. I sat further away from him as he seemed to understand that i needed some time to be alone. Was my adventure really doomed since the beginning?

Unless...

"Kaji, do you have any recording equipment?" I asked as i walked back

"Yeah. For what?"

"Anti-tracking device?" I asked again as i ignored his question.

"Just what the hell do you want to do, Mis...ter?"

"We finally have something on our odds, Kaji." I stated as i grabbed the still unconscious body of Rei Ayanami, "Rei and me...will become an offer that he cannot refuse..."

* * *

What will i do with Rei? Will my plan succeed? Will Rei awakened before i even managed to carry out my plan? Will we meet the ice cream vendor again? Will Pen-Pen showed his ability to write Kanji? Find out next, on Evangelion A.D.!

Also, in case some of you also read my Neon Steroids fics, here's some snippet:

"No way!" Asuka screamed as she saw the man made his entrance.

"It's not a big deal." Shinji simply said so, while he enjoyed the victory kiss from Rei.

"EWWW! Don't do it in front of me, you two!" Asuka complained, still on the pool. The couple retracted from each others soon after they heard her disgust.

"Sorry, but seriously, what's the deal?"

"You...you outrunned The Rock! The epitome of fitness in the hollywood! The man who drink cod every single day like it was nothing!"

"Actually, Asuka...i hate those cods."

"Rock! Be honest! You just trying to make Shinji looks good in front of Rei, right?"


	4. Moving Out

Disclaimer: It would be started in third-person, so sorry for the sudden change of narration!

* * *

"So," The Commander started, "Still couldn't find the reason for why we found...things in the elevator?"

"I don't think we could ever find the correct identity of the invader." Ritsuko answered. "The sample has been contaminated by unknown source. We cannot correctly guessed the one who's there."

"We all know that it was a female, that's for sure." The Commander answered it, obviously from the most obvious observation so far." Anything else we can find from your research so far?"

"I'm pretty sure that it's the LCL that contaminated the...other fluid, sir." Said Ritsuko in the most non-vulgar way possible.

"So the best possibility is that either Rei somehow found a way to...self-pleasured herself, or there's a dummy Ayanami that's somehow escaped."

"But the possibility for both are...rather non-existant, isn't it? Rei is too much of a...good girl to do such a thing, and even if there's really a defective dummy of her...it cannot be just filled by any random soul that's just wandering out of nowhere."

"Do not ever think it's wise to listed out any possibility, Ritsuko." The Commander stated his position in this argument. "Either way, we have to check her memory upload again. Prepare a replacement for her, if necessary."

"Yes, sir." Ritsuko simply answered. No need to say anything else much when the bastard did not thanked her either.

And then, a transmission was made from the outside.

"Hello, Commander." A voice of a young, sultry woman greeted both Gendo and Ritsuko in their private planning room. "I see that you're fine with your mistress, i guess."

"Who are you? And how did you get to contact us?"

"You'll know soon, Commander. And as for how i can contact you here, let's just say that i have my...connections."

"Who's it? TELL ME!"

"Your intimidation won't work on me, Mr. Ikari because frankly, i'm the one with the...higher ground here." Said the woman as the previously dark camera began to show what appear to be a little blue haired girl unconsciously sat on the chair. Doctor Akagi could only gasped as she realized what happened here. "I'm afraid that i held your little project for now. And since i know that you can just let me kill her without any consequences other than possible memory loss, well...i'd say i have many things in mind for what i can do to her without doing any real harm. Maybe...a little brainwashing? Or, how about some cyrogenic experimentation?"

"You cannot do that to her!"

"Which is why i haven't done it yet, Commander." Said the woman as she continued her speech. "You see, Commander, i'm not here just to gloat over having one of your primary project in my hand. Let's just say that i have...interest in your organization, Commander. Which is frankly, mostly caused by the rather...poor management that have been done by you, and the rest. So what am i doing here, is offering you a chance to make your plans went...smooth, Mr. Ikari."

"Our project are fine, you miserable wench. I do not see for why i should-"

"NEEET! Wrong, Commander! Your organization is terribly funded, you cannot fully comprehend the power you get from all your project, all your win so far came from luck to a degree, and all of your staff have been diagnosed to be suffering from psychological problems in a way or more! In short, the only reason why you still alive until now, is because the power of love from your late wife, who may or may not be a psycho herself! Which is why i'm here, Commander. I'm here, to give you an offer so your project can be finished without worry over some failures from...unneeded scenario."

"What do you mean?" Said the man, still did not get the idea in spite of the big drop of information regarding his own wife.

"I have more than my connections, mr. You see, i know...the outcome of everything from all your scenarios, and frankly Gendo Ikari, the outcome is not...the best for you. You'll die. Painfully. While the rest of humanity will become one peacefully, you'll die in agony as the last angel and your own wife judged you. All because your doll here lose her respect over you. And that will be the last time you'll see your own wife, as she became the beacon of humanity out there by herself. And humanity itself? Well, their survival will depend of your broken son."

"Shinji...will he be ready, just like what Yui said?" Gendo's mumbled was unheard by anyone else but himself.

"What did you say, Commander?"

"...Perhaps we can get into some agreements. What do you want?"

"What i want, is for me to have some controls over the Children themselves. I will make sure that their psychological issues will be fixed, with my magical touches. And so, what i want, is for me to watch over them as their...psychology consultant. They're nice kids, Commander. They deserves much more than what they have now." The woman said, before she added. "Also, i might be fixing the salary of your staff. I still cannot believe on how low you pay Major Katsuragi here.

"And if i'm not willing to play along?"

"Then say your last goodbye to your precious doll over here." Said the woman menacingly.

"...Fine. What do you want now?"

"A nice apartment, for the starter. I shall be living with your doll here because frankly, she needs the most fixing out of all. Prepare your Section 2 to move her belonging to the Skyline apartment, number 230. Don't worry. I already made the first payment. But next time..."

"Alright. I get it...is that all."

"That will be for now. Oh, and call your Section 2 back for the rest of the week, Commander. Because i want to have some time with my..."

The camera was being moved, and as soon as the camera was being fixed over the face of the woman, the Doctor gasped in shock once again.

It was the lost dummy plug.

"Long lost sister. See you at the party, everyone!" Said her, now with voice that's much more similar to that of Rei's.

* * *

 _Back to first person perspective.  
_

As everything ended, i took a deep breath as my leg finally gave in. They have been wobbled ever since the plan have been commenced, and they've been glad that my imitation of the bastard already over.

It was clear: Being evil sucks.

As i still heavily breathing, i took over the glance of my sister again. She looked so peaceful on her forced sleep, which made me feel even worse over calling her Gendo's doll over and over again. She deserved much more, which is why i'm here again; To save everyone from the evil fate of being Evangelion characters.

"I take it everything going well?"

Kaji's voice interrupted my rambling over my heroic complex.

"You heard me well, didn't you?"

"Well, i have to make sure that no one would interrupt us. It's a good thing that my scrambles really worked, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Said me as i wiped the sweat over my forehead. Damn, my shirt's really drenched on sweat. The evil act really took my energy. "We still need to do some work...right?"

"Just move her into my car. We're going to the new apartment." Said the man before he spoke again in embarrassment. "I hope this will pay well. Skyline apartment is one of the more expensive apartment out there, you know. And i'm not even gonna live there..."

"Don't worry, Ryoji." Said me as his words made me feel lighter. "NERV's money will be much sweeter for us soon."

* * *

"Ms. Ayanami?"

"That's me."

Until now, Rei still hadn't wake from her slumber. Which was a good thing, since i do not want to make things even more confusing for her. Oh, and Kaji already went to the other side of town to make sure no one would caught my connection with him. And he paid the apartment first payment with his other account, which was untrackable by NERV, anyway. So in short, he's going to be fine for now.

Speaking of which, there's still enough time for me to play with...myself before the man came here. I just hoped that my neighbor did not heard all that screaming and moaning. Man, i'm really sensitive.

And speaking of which yet again, i'm surprised that the guy in front of me did not caught my ecstatic breathing. I do not think that i even combed my hair properly. Man, that was wonderful...

"I have the package from Pilot Ayanami's old apartment. Here."

"Hey! Watch out!" I warned the man as he threw the package to me.

"Don't worry. The only breakable object from her is this old glasses." Said the man as he gave the Commander's old glasses to me. "Oh. And Miss?"

"Hmmm?"

"Enjoy your freedom for now. Because soon, this whole apartment will be rigged with our spying equipment. Go and talk all your secrets together now, because it's probably your only time now."

"Yeah, yeah." I said dismissively to the man. Damn NERV and their paranoid Commander.

Bingo. My sister began to open her eyes as soon as i dropped the package and her glasses.

"Hey, Rei." I approached her.

"W...where am i?"

I hugged her fiercely as my answer instead. It's feel good to be able to hug your sister like this. You see, my sister is much more like Asuka, so she's kinda...touchy in everything.

"I'm so sorry, Rei."

"You..." She said in tone that i took as fear instead. "You're the loose dummy plug." She said in realization over my origin.

"Yes, i am." I admitted it.

"I...i have to..."

"Don't worry, Rei." I said as i tighten my hug, partly because i don't want her to call the bastard, and partly because i did not want to let her go. "I already explained to him about everything he needs to know."

"I see." Said her, before she asked again. "So i take it, this is my new living quarter?"

"OUR, Rei. We're going to live together from now." I corrected her.

"...I need some drink."

"Oh, okay." I said as i released her. "What do you want, Rei?

"Water will do."

"Okay, okay." I said as i began to get to the counter to get her the drink. It's obvious that she's still weak from the drugs to make sure she won't wake up until the negotiation is over, so she took her time to the table before i helped her to sit on the dining room.

"So, Rei..." I started as i took my own seat. "I take it that you want to ask some questions, right?"

She nodded.

"So...what is it?"

"You." She stated, before continued: "How did you become alive all of sudden?"

"Well, um..."I scratched my head in confusion over how to explain everything before i managed to create the proper explanation. "I don't know the real reason myself, but all i know is that i came from the universe where this whole Evangelion stuffs is nothing but story that already ended. And i somehow ended as one of Ayanami plug, and i..."

"I see." She took a sip before she spoke again. "Then how the Commander saw it fit to let you alive instead of just eliminate you?"

In spite on how scary and cold her statement was, i explained on how i managed to struck the deal with him, which was how i managed to get this far, including living with her now.

"...And that's why i'm here with you, Rei, and i'm seeking to live with you together."

"I see." She said coldly. Damn, this girl's really unnerving.

But then she did something that nearly made me fainted from shock.

She blushed.

"Did i...did i ended with Ikari-kun in your story?"

.GOD! She really liked him! Hear that, shippers? ReiXShinji is really a thing!

Oh, wait. Unfortunately, it really wasn't the case. She exploded in the manga, she disappeared as Lilith in EoE, Shinji ended with Asuka in Angelic days, and i don't know what actually happened in Campus Apocalypse.

Well, she had it in Raising Project, though, so it's actually possible.

"Sister?"

I looked over who called me, and then i realized that actually, i'm a girl.

"Uh, what? Oh, sorry. It's gonna be a long time before i became used to get called as a sister of someone."

"I know. Which is why i began to call you as one now."

"I see." Then i realized the topic of conversation now. "Oh, don't worry, Rei. It can be arranged."

"...So i did not ended with him." She said as she hung her head.

"But it's possible! Which is why i'm here, Rei. My obligations here is to make you and the rest of the Children happy, and if being with Shinji would make you happy, and i will be glad to make it happen!"

"Thank you." She said in gratitude. And it was the first time i really saw that beautiful smile by my own eyes.

"Don't mind it, Rei. It's just me being..." I stopped as the implications struck me.

Fuck. I did not even know whether they're related here! And now i'm gonna play the matchmaker here? Hell, i did not even ever had any girlfriend before!

Oh, shit. I just remember that Gendo existed.

"Sister?"

"...Let's talk about this next morning, okay?" Said me as the burden began to make me feel heavy.

* * *

So it happen! I began to live with Rei, and i became the matchmaker for her and Shinji! But will i managed to make it? Or there would be some...obstacles? Find out next, on Evangelion A.D.!


	5. Gendo and Me!

A/N: Don't worry, Duskrider! I already know that it's not incest!

Oh, and it's just a quick update. More fun stuffs will come out later.

* * *

Okay, boy-well, i'm still a boy first. Calm down. Calm down for a while.

Why you have to be so worked up over some pairings? I mean, this isn't a real live, just a fantasy right? Surely, Freddie himself would've loved that reference, and also found himself went for that pairing like me-okay, maybe he would've went for Kawoshin more. Good for that music-loving angel. But there's nothing wrong could've happened from this pairing, right? I've done nothing but supporting a very cute pairing from two introverted individuals that showed they could be more loving than what they show, so what's making you so worked out.

Except for the incest...and the oedipal compexial...and the half angel-zombie thing...and the...

AAAARGH! What am i supposed to do?!

Okay, okay. I think i have the solution...

* * *

"Aaaah...mmmm..."

Yeah. My solution is the one directed for those whiners who should've know better instead of putting themselves in despair without any damned attempt to fix their problems.

It's called 'Go fuck yourself'.

Of course, i merely tried to do it as literal as possible.

"Oooh..." I moaned as i gently rubbing my sweet, sensitive nub over and over again with my thumb, slowly building my euphoria with my mind on no one but Rei Ayanami.

Yes. I'm a sick, fucked up girl, who was pleasing herself with erotic thought about her sister.

I don't know how long i've gone through this, but i'm pretty sure that Rei would wake soon, so i fastened myself to get my payload, my fingers were doing their job with great efficiency while my free hand squishing my breasts and playing with the perky nipples. Everything i did to my own body drove me nuts.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...uuuhh..." That's it. I got the result that i desired. To say that it felt good would be an understatement. Yeah. I really don't care about anything that would happen at this moment; all i want to do was to just lay down in the bath tub, enjoying the after effect and-

"Sister, are you fine?"

Crap. Rei's already awaken?

"It seemed like you moaned earlier. Did you hurt yourself?"

"Um, yeah." I lied in embarrassment, of course. "I suddenly get dizzy. But i'll be okay. No big deal"

"I see." Rei simply said. I thought it ended here, but she still had something to say. "Perhaps it's because the merge between your former memories and the one NERV uploaded to my clones is incomplete. We could go into NERV today and syncing together in the dummy plug to heal your mind if that was the case."

"Um, i'll consider it if it became a hindrance to us later." I haven't thought of the possibility now, since so far, i had absolutely no mental problem that happened since my arrival. "But i already have enough problems now."

"Like what."

I could imagine my pretty sister simply blinked and wondered about my predicaments. I simply replied, "You'll see later."

* * *

"So you already know the future of mankind after the Third Impact. You survived the Impact, but instead of being materialized as human again, you somehow floated back into the past."

I nodded. There were no one here but The Commander, who was sitting in front of me. Rei was doing yet another sync test, while i came 20 minutes later to avoid people see two Ayanamis and gotten heart attack in the process. I was wondering if her sync rate would've risen up due to her new apartment condition, which she described as 'very pleasant'. So pleasant in fact, that she nearly spent 40 minutes in the bath tub all by herself and made us nearly late for the meeting.

So she was still a normal girl after all.

"And how am i supposed to believe this?"

I rolled my eyes at his suggestion that i lied. Well, i didn't say anything about me being a guy where this world is nothing but just another piece of fiction. Highly acclaimed, but still... "Because i already showed that i know everything that NERV know?"

"Your body, like the rest of the clones, is synced with the First Child. You could've known all of this by her memories."

"But you know yourself, that the memory upload was only meant to upload her combat capability."

"And there's a possibility that with a sentient soul, you could get more from her."

I decided to end this. "So that could explain how i know that you arranged the suicide of Doctor Akagi's mother?"

There was a shock written all over his expression. Even if it was brief, i could see his expression changed. I continued myself. "You used the first Rei to killed her. You tell her that Naoko Akagi was nothing but an old hag. Soon as she know how you actually felt for her, she killed Rei in rage. She crossed the despair line, and then-"

"That's...enough." He said with a voice that sounded like it's about to break. "And i take it that you wanted to help us?"

"Yes." I simply stated. "If Third Impact happened with the Children, and the rest of NERV staff having achieved happier and stronger mentality, i believe the more negative consequences would be diminished."

"How's it possible?"

This is the part where i lied. "Because this part is the center of where Impact would've happen. How successful the impact and it's subsequent denial, would be shaped by the mental state of the people."

"Why would someone deny the impact, when it unified everyone so they won't ever be alone?"

"Because as far as i know, it doesn't feel right." I hoped my lie was good enough here. "In all honesty, for me, it never feels right. You might feel warm by the soul of everyone around you, but soon when you know that it's not the actual thing, you just reject it. You just reject everything around you. And i believe that it's exactly what happened to whoever controlled the Impact as well. Except for that man, he took it too late. Lilith's Anti-AT Field already destroyed the biosphere to make Earth inhospitable for human to live."

"So it's not the solution to this world's problem..."

"Except, there's one detail that even guys from SEELE missed." I continued my long rant of manipulation. "People who turned into LCL first, would shaped the state of mind of the unified humanity. I can attest that, since i'm one of the few soul who somehow managed to get into the center of LCL, and it's incredible how the core of it was rotten, nothing but depression. In my theory, if the people at NERV are mentally healthy enough, then Impact would truly make everyone happy, and in case they reject it, it would be soon enough to not cause too much damage."

"I see." The man said. "While i cannot say that i truly believe your theory, your existence here alone was already a concrete evidence that what you said is true. And i can't let the scenario to bring more harm than good to humanity."

"So we're good?"

"Yes." Said Gendo as he gave me a tablet to write my information. "We just need to write out your papers here for your disguise."

So i followed his order to fill out the information needed for my employment in NERV. 3 minutes already gone, and nothing in this room exploded yet. Neither does Gendo pulled a gun, or Section 2 tried to arrest or kill me, or Doctor Akagi gassed the whole place while Gendo secretly pulled a gas mask.

Seems like Mr. Ikari really went with me. All according to plan.

"So what's your position here in NERV?"

"The one you guys already needed since the goddamn place was first built." Said me as i smirked.

"NERV Psychiatrist."

* * *

So how will i proceed from here? Would Gendo shoot me later? Would NERV asking me more stuffs later? Would Misato sued me for fake diploma? Would Shinji fell for Rei, or Asuka, or rather...*gulp*me? AAAGH! FiND OUT NEXT, ON EVANGELION A.D.!


	6. New plan

Thanks for the favs and follows, y'all! Damn, it's really hot to read a virgin masturbating in a hot teenager body, right?

lol.

Anyway, here's the new chapter for this messed up fic!

\--l--

Ah... peace at last.

Good primary job, thrilling secondary job, low work hours. What else a man-, girl could've wanted?

Yep. Rae Ayanami is officially in business term with NERV.

For being the wild card in this conspiracy fiasco, my job's relatively very low risk. I was only a back up pilot for the EVA, so i won't get too much actions for now until some serious shit happened. My worth's more on became Gendo's promoted pawn, discussed stuffs with him while doing psychiatrist works for the very fucked up staffs of NERV.

Speaking of staffs...

Misato was unreadable aside from trying to be friendly, but she's cool in my book. Definitely tried her best to act as normally as possible in spite of her pain. Exposing her so soon would be disastrous, considered that she was rather blinded by her loyalty to her fight against angel.

And Shinji was really meek. Like, so meek that my slight growl at Asuka made him very uncomfortable. Definitely needed some self-esteem injection. He's definitely like it when i yawned cutely, though. And even like it more when Rei accidentally brushed her hand with him when they're dismissed. Oh, the hormone. They do wonder to youngs.

And my verdict on Asuka? Raw Biatch. I mean, why on earth would she already screamed at the so-called favoritism on the twin dolls before i even spoke? I'm sorry, Asuka, but if being favorited meant living in crappy apartment, being repressed by drugs, slowly destroyed by your own AT-Field and other shit, then i'd rather being the unfavorite.

Oh, and i just realized it; Maybe it's because they're all the part of Anno's psyche, but from watching the psychological heavy segments, these people also experienced a massive cognitive dissonance; They have the common thing of both loathed and craved the love of someone. Well, Asuka didn't have it, but she still has the same dissonance since she also couldn't decide if her mother loved her or wanted to kill her.

Interesting stuffs...

Ah! The door's opening! I wonder who- Oh. It's Maya! This's a genuine surprise for me. Why's the most well adjusted and kind person in NERV needed a psychiatrist?

"Lieutenant Ibuki, i presumed?"

"Yes, ma'am."

I chuckled at her poor choice of word. "I'm ten years younger than you, you know?"

"Ah! I'm sorry, but i-"

"It's okay." I said as i gestured the nice woman to sit. "You know, you're the last person i thought would've visited me first. Your psychological report is the cleanest here."

"Well, it's something that, um..." She was fidgetting nervously. This's gonna be interesting. "Stuffs that i can't say to anyone else."

"Even senpai?"

"Yes. Even senpai."

"...Okay. Where are we starting?"

"Um, it's actually about the Children." She said, fidgeting around the chair. Damn, this girl's cute. "Senpai said something about keeping your emotion in check with job, but with this new development..."

"You thought that you could help. Correct?"

The Christmas Eve cake nodded. "I couldn't help myself since this job's already very stressful for adults who're not even directly involved here, and these kids are practically putting their body and soul in the front line, so..."

"Well, it's a good thing that we're on the same page, Maya." I said truthfully. If i could, i would've already filed 500 case of abuses here, , with 480 of them involved the Children. But this's just like the Hitler time travel dilemma; What if they would've just replaced him with someone worse? "They deserved much better than this."

"Um, if i could know, where should we start? And what's really wrong with them?"

Honestly, Maya? Everything. "Well, i can't just tell you exactly the details since we're still in NERV, but you can start with become friend with the Children."

"...Friend?"

"Yeah, friend. Not guardian like Katsuragi-san and Kaji-san. Real friend."

"N...now that you mention it, they really had so few friends. And the adults here are quiet indifferent to the Children because of their work or other thing."

Depressive shit. That's the thing, Maya. "So, let's making friend with them! Also, i think you should went with Asuka first. She needs some...attitude adjustment."

Maya chuckled. Did she gets the reference? "She really needs a good bodyslam. She complained all the time, and yet she claims that Shinji's a whiner. That boy's the quiet one about showing his disapproval, if anything. But can we do this?"

"Her friend in school is Hikari Horaki, right?" Maya nodded. "She's a nice girl. Just like you. All you need is some edge whenever you see stupid shit just like what Hikari always did, and Asuka'll be cool with you."

"...Okay." She said, before she stood up. "It's nice to talk to you, Rae-chan, but i'm afraid i already have to go now."

"It's okay. We can meet anytime later. Bye, Maya!"

And with that, Maya headed for the door...

Until she bumped into our favorite Triple Double agent.

"Hmm...in hurry, Maya?"

"Y...yes...i think?"

"What's wrong? You seem to be more meek than before?" Said Kaji as he began to do his womanizer act.

"S..stop it, Kaji-san! Or i will call The Major!"

So here i was, left with two choices: Let the sexual predator get his prey so i could have another new imagination...material, or i could save the bunny by pretending to call his ex-lover that dumped him for one of the million way to show that this anime's really depended too much on freuds.

"Kaji-san," I interrupted the grinning predator, "You know that i'm sitting here in front of you two, right?"

"Just showing my skill for you, ma-am."

I rolled my eyes. Really, is the stablest way to hide your pain is either drinking Yebisu and putting curry in everything or drinking canned coffee and womanizing everyone?

"Or... do you want me to show you directly?"

"Pedo."

He chuckled at my playful remark. I knew this man's not serious at all. "You know that only Misato's the one i truly respect and wanted."

"And i know that you don't like the younger girl. Trust me, Asuka really turned me on."

"So you're the pedo here." He smirked at me. Soon, his expression became much serious, almost like when he nearly put two and two together after his incestigayion on Marduk Institute. "Maybe with my search for the truth, or to put it simpy, job's nearly done with your help, i can do other things already. In fact, that's probably why i visit you today."

"So what do you prefer?"

"Maybe anything with the kids. They're the one who keep us safe, after all. And i do care for them."

"Maybe we can do the same like what Maya wants to do: Be close with them."

The man was thinking. Used my female hormones, i noticed that he looked better in formal suit than the one he usually wore. "I like the sound of it. But how?"

"Make real friend with them. Simply as that. Since Maya already went her way to get into Asuka side, and you're already did well with Asuka-"

"I don't want to get even closer with her. Already too much for me."

"I know. Well, i'd advice you to become fast friend with Shinji soon."

"And how about you?"

"Left me with my sister. I'll show her how to have some fun."

\--l--

So that's it! Will we make friends with the Children, or will we make everything worse? Find out next, on Evangelion A.D!


	7. Another ice cream!

"Rei...aah..."

"Just relax, nee-chan. I shall serve you tonight." And with that, Rei took another bold lick into my lower lips. And since i'm naked down my waist, it doesn't take too much imagination for anyone to know that it means...well...

"Goodness Rei! Oh! How did you learn to...lick me like this? Please, don't tell me that Gendo taught you to-AH!"

"Be quiet, or i will stop pleasuring you."

I only obeyed what my sister ordered, ignored all the feeling that what we're doing now was simply wrong from every angle you could imagine. But then again, why should i resist? It felt too good to be true, both figuratively and literally.

Me, a virgin in my previous life, was receiving one hell of a job from the Queen of Cold Moe.

Goodness gracious! How could it all started from a very innocent talk about bird and the bees?

"You've lasted this long. But it's time to soar from this heaven, my sister."

And then, she dwelved further. Her delicate tongue and fingers tortured me in everything sensitive. My thighs, my little but-AAAH! And my hips...they started to move themselves by my most primal instincts! I...i can't...

"Ah...ah... AAAAH!"

-ee-

"Rae-san?"

I heard the knocking sound in my office. Damn my hormones. Can't i have a day without my imagination running wild about screwing something? And now they assaulted my subconsciousness as well?

And now i'm damp. Damn.

"What is it, Doc?" I asked while trying to hide all my drolls.

"I don't intend to interrupt whatever good dream you have today, but it's time for your first synch training."

Ah. Synch training. The bane of everyone with short attention span. In short, it would be BOOORIIIING!

Oh, well. At least i had an excuse to wash myself now. Definitely gonna hit myself with cold, cold shower now. I didn't like warm shower that much, anyway.

"Oh, by the way. Is there's something strange you experiencing after you get stuck in Ayanami Clone body? Because honestly, i found it difficult to believe that you are so...well adjusted."

"Aside from the fact that i'm somehow hornier than Misato and Ryoji combined? So far negative."

"Err...i think that's already too much information. Oh, by the way. Asuka already left the building ten minutes ago."

I blinked curiously. Did our animosity already known with the staff?

"Good," I stated, "Because i don't want to get into any catfight with her. I already made a big, wrong first impression with her, and knowing her from your files and what i already watched and know about her, she'd blow up if i remarked ANYTHING about her now."

With that, i'm prepared to get into the plug for my first steps into piloting the goddamn robot.

-ee-

"So how's your test, sister?"

"I only hit 25%." I said as i sat down across her, "I think i won't make it to the main roster soon."

This was good for many reasons, most of them were about avoiding any possible pain.

"I believe it's still acceptable." Rei simply stated what she thought. Soon, her face sparkled a tiniest bit of curiosity, "You looks like you...have no idea about whether things are fine for you or not. Is it because of Pilot Sohryu?"

"You're correct." I mumbled, "I thought it would be good so she won't try to slap me or fight me if i turned out to be better than expected, but i realized that she would only boasted about how good she was if i became another pilot with high potential."

"I see."

"Say," I snaked my left arm around her shoulder, "Tell me;why we have such poor synch rate, if we are basically half angel?"

"Pardon me?"

"It's just...in theory, we're supposed to be even more compatible than the other childrens, being made by NERV for this certain function and purpose, and yet, we're lower than both. Why?"

"I'm not certain myself." She said without any emotion that could betray any intents, "It could be because we're meant to be the best neutral entity to pilot the Evangelions without any regards for their soul. My synch ratio are the same for every EVA after all."

"Perhaps." I said before something hit me, "But why's Kaworu has perfect synch ratio with Asuka's EVA?"

"Who's Kaworu?"

"Someone who's the same like us. He's with SEELE now. We're going to meet him later when everything's almost set." I said before another clue hit me, "You don't know that much either, do you?"

"Yes. The Commander is very secretive. Even i, who Pilot Sohryu called 'The Commander's favorite'," She paused when i did the finger air quote, and only awkwardly continued after an awkward silence ensued, "Don't know many thing about him, or projects that're associated with him."

"And the series never focused too much on him to begin with..." I sighed before i whispered, "Still up for that socializing?"

"Eh?"

-ee-

"Are we going to be fine? Eating ice cream in night doesn't seem to be the norm."

"Of course we are. And Second Impact made everything hotter, right?"

"Indeed. The temperature has been rising since they..."

"Since they what?"

We were startled by the voice behind us. It was Kaji.

"Kaji, couldn't you do your entrance like anyone normal?"

"I don't know, Rae. Seems like your sister here's not scared at all."

"To be honest, Agent Kaji, you do surprised me."

"My apologies." Said him as he gave his usual kind of sleaze bow. "I believe i need to speak with Rae first before you two can have your fun."

"Oh, fine." I said as i mentioned her to get into the ice cream stand so we wouldn't have to wait too long. "Alright. What is it?"

"It's Misato." He simply said. Still maintained that sleaze coolness that he always emitted, "She became intrigued and suspicious with your circumstances, so she was checking your background. It's a good thing that NERV's forgery is really good, or else she'd already caught anything there."

"...What?" That part was done rather quietly since the shock factor was already gone since the word 'suspicious' was said.

"It surprised you?" He said with one eyebrow twitching, "Misato herself asked me to check things with Shinji first. Things about his childhood and so. That's how she managed to patch things up when he found out that Misato was making a diary about his progress as if he was just another test subject for her to monitor. But is she really an obedient woman to NERV? Found it kinda unbelievable with her wild antics here."

"As far as i concern, yes, Misato's a good little girl who outside of acting wild, wouldn't try to expose and humiliate her own company. Misato in my world's never supposed to be questioning things since the beginning. Even when she found out about that Marduk Institute's a fake, she never tried to act on her own. It was your death that caused it."

"Good thing i'm going to patch things up with her soon..."

"And this's bad thing for me." I said as i slumped to the near seat. "Know anything to throw her off trails?"

"Honestly? I don't know myself. I think acting like everything normal's the best option for now."

"Okay, okay." I said as i decided to cool down until Rei got into the first line, but i changed my mind when Kaji began to walk off. "This could be an actual advantage for us."

"How?"

"At least...this Misato probably has a good grasp of true justice. Her campaign against the angel usually fueled with confused revenge for her father, but perhaps now it's mixed with something more noble."

Kaji did nothing but smiled at me before he walked away again. I guess that's an agreement.

"You're done with him?"

"Ah!" The blue haired pilot made me jumped slightly from my seat, "Do you have to scare me?"

"I have no intent to." Said her as she sat down next to me. "The ice cream seller is quiet friendly. Even asked if we have met before."

"That's because i am." I winked at her, "I already eat here before."

"I see."

"...You know what? It would be interesting to see his reaction when he finds out that we're twin."

"Clone."

"Whatever." I didn't want to discuss technicality in this moment where you're supposed. "We're going to have a nice discussion with him when the line's empty."

"Is that supposed to be now?" She pointed to the now empty stand.

"...Let's finish our ice cream first."

-ee-

"Another delicious ice cream again, sir!"

"Thank you, Rae! You can come back any-WOAH!"

"Small world, eh?"

"There's...there's two of you?"

He actually got it closer than the supposed explanation. "Actually, this is my twin, Rei. Rei, this is...Mr. Hakase."

"Hai." She simply said.

"...Your twin here's not very talkative."

"That's why i'm here in the first place. She needs to get some new friends. Can't believe she became colder than ice cream after we split out for 4 years."

"Why're you split out for so long?"

"Well-"

"Our parents...are not living together anymore." Rei suddenly came out with an excuse. I looked at her for a while before i shrugged at the ice cream vendor.

"Oh, i'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bring out painful memories!"

"Um, sir"

"Take these two ice cones! Please, i'm begging you! Oh, the sorrow of two hearts..."

Man. This guy's not just too hard on himself. He's also overacted on things! Well, at least this gave us two ice cream, even though he made me too embarrassed to even take a lick. Meanwhile, Rei's already eaten like half of it. Soon enough, i followed her in finishing our ice cream.

"Um..."

We looked again at the ice cream seller. Why's his cheeks now pink?

"Can i...take a picture for both of you? Preferably with a...smile..." He coughed at the last part, probably to ease his embarrassment.

"Oh." I tried my best to not blush as i looked back at Rei. She did not object, so i guess that was a yes.

"Ok."

"Thank you very much, you two! It's just very rare for twins to eat at my place, and-"

"Um, we don't have much time so-"

"Of course! Yes! Just smile slightly you two, yeah..." He took a photo with us holding the ice cream. It's as simple as that. "Okay. Another one. Free pose."

Suddenly, i had an idea. Very naughty idea.

So what i did, was poses myself eating the ice cream. With one of my shoulder exposed. And a very suggestive way of eating an ice cream for a shot; I simply swallowed half of it. The trick was how i reacted to my idea; All the while, i tried to pull the very, VERY pleased face, like i just...

In spite of my lack of experience, the man's showering nosebleed that hit our face showed that i managed to pull that.

As we wiped out our faces from the red fluids, we checked the now unconscious man from any possible consequences, including the worst possibility that's death from blood loss or brain damage from hitting his head on concrete floor.

"He's still breathing. Now what we're going to do?"

"Eh...i think ice cream time's over. For him as well."

So before we went home, we put the sign closed, shook the man off, and ran as fast as we could when he began to wake up. Of course, i had to pull Rei because she did not understand that i didn't want to further embarrassed myself. Next step, would be teaching her to read the situation.

* * *

So Evangelion A.D. finally had it's another perverted moments! How would i teach my sister to get more adjusted? And would my dream become true? And would i embraced my new sexuality? Find out, in the next installment!


	8. Talking with the Emo

"I'm sorry. What was this proposal for again?"

I sighed before i summarized the point of the proposal, for the third time. "I requested a double synchronization test, for Unit-00, with both Ayanami pilots as the testers."

"I heard you before, my fellow doctor. What i meant is the reason for why you wrote this proposal. And i hope, that you have a good for this. Or, we'd assume you tried to gone rogue here. And girl, we don't take no prisoner."

I looked at the ceiling, tried to comprehend why everyone in NERV need to be such cold calculating bastards. Then again, i've picking apart their needless atrocities and mocked them in my other fic. Not to mention that i'm not a real doctor in the first place. Finally, i got what i had to say. "For the starter, don't call me girl because i'm tired of everyone calling me that. And second, there's no reason for me to betray you if you treat me right. And boy, do i hate cruelness."

The doctor coughed a little. Seemed like her part of bluffing was, well, just a bluff. "Of course. We also hate being forced to do cruelty, for your information. I'm just want to make sure that you know about our distaste towards even the slightest of leaks."

"No leak. We're family here." Fuck yeah, a Paul Ryan quote!

"You'd better keep it up, Rae. Now let me think up the way to make it work with as little damage as possible."

"So you agreed to it despite your concern? What made you change your mind? I thought NERV don't like unknown possibility."

"Rei's Evangelion is very unstable, not to mention being weaker thanks to its status. It would be better for everyone if we can at least reduce the berserk probability to make her more reliable than just support role and occasional suicide runner. I'm just afraid that you can...make it work for your self gain because of the nature of Ayanami project. Your existence alone's already a big derivation."

"Riiight. Like i know how on earth i could use the power of Second Angel in the first place. Wasn't that it's because of Rei's soul, not her body that made Rei an angel hybrid?"

"We still don't know much about the extent of her clones synchronization effect, but yes. Which is why i have concern about this matter. I still don't know much about Unit-00, but i suspected for a long time that it contains either a part of Rei's soul or...Naoko Akagi."

"Your mother."

"Yes." Her squirm and slouched shoulders almost made me regret to mention her name. "Either way, the soul obviously have resentment toward me and Commander Ikari. I have replayed the failed testing so many times, and it's obvious that the robot targeted either me or him. Pacifying the soul is definitely the way to go, and maybe only Rei that could do it. Obviously, Rei would be put into so much trouble before they could even reach an agreement. But your presence could give them a neutral voice, someone who could moderate their conversation."

"Is it really a neutral stance if i want them to reach peace?"

"Obviously, they want revenge, but Rei could want them to oblige without any question. This's Rei we're talking about. God know what Gendo planted in her pretty doll head. I knew that girl managed to blackmail Shinji into piloting against the fifth angel after got shot like that. Shinji might be our best pilot in raw potential, but there's no way he would piloting again after suffered such a blast."

"Well, this pretty doll can vouch."I said in irritated voice from her diminishing my sister like that. "I am agree that my sister's by no mean a normal person, but after being put into hell like that place, wouldn't you too?"

"All i am saying is that your sister has been put into insane conditioning by Commander for extreme. And wasn't that an agreement from you?"

"I reluctantly agree, yeah. But that doesn't mean i won't try to make my sister her own person."

"Then i hope you have years of planning, Rae. This's a real world, not a drama tv where everything can be solved within two episodes."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and talked about the ridiculously Freudian structure that plastered everything related to Evangelion. "We'll see."

-ng-

"So, uh...Rae..."

"Yes, Shinji?" I already mentioned to him that we're going to have our session, and here we were.

"I know that i...requested for our psyche talk, but i expected it's to be done in your office, not a...public place."

"Because we need to socialize and relax more, you silly. And besides, it's a gym in a city that just get abandoned by some of their people, in a dayshift time. We could do our stuffs without being bothered by the few people that attended the gym."

Well that, and i'm just a fitness freak in my previous life, even with my high abundance of fat and water thanks to my genetics. I definitely like working out, but ironically, i also disliked running due to my sheer weight made moving much harder, even with my slightly above average strength compared to average gym enthusiasts. Now, on this rather thin body, i could use this opportunity to taste what it's like to build myself into someone with good stamina rather than one thick monster.

"So anyway...how do you feel after you become the pilot?" I began to pedal my static bike. Shinji soon followed me.

"Eh, okay i guess? But honestly, i think i would rather be somewhere safe...i think."

"I know. It's gotta be hard when you can feel the pain of your robot whenever they got hurt. Not to mention that you nearly got boiled alive once."

"Yeah." The downcast look of Shinji made me feel bad. I knew that i shouldn't say that, but here, i'm trying to be honest and unbiased. Because frankly, Shinji's bias toward himself was purely negative. Boy could save the world without hitch and he will still blamed himself for the one acre of deforestation that happened in the battle.

"Hey."I took him off his depressed musing. "Do you know who will make the best leaders?"

"The strongest and most knowledgeable of all?"

"Pretty good guess. But the most important of all are those heroes who are capable of being both compassionate and moved on from whatever mistakes they made while learning from them at the same time."

"I don't get it. How could someone who know they are flawed and do mistakes can be a...good hero?"

Just like i thought. In his eye, there's no shade of grey. It's either perfection or worthless.

"Because that's human nature. No one is perfect, Shinji. A good commander might be turned into a mediocre general, an average general might be turned into an excellent spymaster. Luther King, for example, was and is a hero for the Civil Rights, but he committed adultery. Honestly, there are very few overall flawless people in the world, and even i bet that they have done some mistakes in their life. Even Mr. Rogers may have sinned."

Ha! There's no way my idol could sinned! Well that much to make him a very flawed guy, at least.

"I...still don't see how that logic ended up with you considering that heroes that flawed are still good heroes?"

"Because they still did the right thing? Granted, i can understand people humbling themselves, but you're not trying to be humble. You're trying to deny that you're anything worth of good. How could you try to be good when you just deny it later?"

"I...i'm trying! I always try to do the right thing. But no matter what i do, i still don't like being hurt."

Damn. He failed to see my point. "Look, Shinji, sometimes we need to sacrifice something-"

"And no matter how. I decided to stay, but i still...i still don't like it! I still fight the urge to run away! H-how could i be a good hero when i still questioned all my decisions and consequences?"

"Heroes who saved 300 lives at one incident will still get haunted by the 20 people, or even one that get hurt or died. I don't think it's very unusual for people who have done good deeds to still wonder if they could do more. Especially you, who just got into this hero business. Even people like Audie Murphy still get haunted by the death of his precious people." Perhaps this one could.

"I'm no hero. Ho-how many times to i have to tell you that?!"

I sighed at Shinji repeated his talking point while totally ignored what i just said. Seemed like we're going nowhere if we keep talking about it if he just keep missed what i wanted to say about imperfection.

"You know, Shinji, i will never thank you enough for making my sister smile."

That shook him out of the negative denials about his cowardice that kept repeating themselves. And once again, i saw that stripped blushes.

I could see why Shinji managed to think so negatively about himself. In addition to his meek stature and everything bad that happened to him, compared to the gorgeous ladies around him the boy looked plain. But just because he's a wholesome teenager that does not equal him being an ugly pathetic boy. In fact, he could be considered as quiet attractive. Nowhere close to the super bishonen like Kaworu but still not bad in the eye.

"I...didn't do much. In fact, i think she smiled for father before."

"Ah, but has she ever smiled for anyone else before?" I asked with a smile unironically. And he blushed! Looks like he really likes those smiles from pale beauty.

"Not that i know of. But she's so distant..."

"That's nice of you, trying to reach a very cold person when you still doubted yourself."

"But...compared to what i done with the EVA, it's basically nothing. And uh, even my interactions with her still came as part of the job, i guess."

"That's what i'm trying to say. Sometimes, the small things we did ended up have more impact than the one we want so much. You might have a part-time job in your time as college student for example, and somehow your part-time job is the one that will lend you that good job."

"So, eh, somehow you may get the good job and other stuffs from what you're not expecting the most?"

"That's how life rolling, Shinji. Life can be very unpredictable. You never expected that you'll pilot an Evangelion for example, right?"

"And it...ended up being my most important job, in life perhaps." Damn it, stop sulking and make me feel bad while infuriated me at the same time!

"And also the way for you to do even more. You already made some friends, you get some respect even, from Misato and me and maybe some others. So i think this might be the chance for you to actually do the right thing, and it's not just the piloting. It's also how you benefit and influence others by even the smallest thing." I explained him what's going on in my head.

"So, eh, i could have a very bad piloting experience, with everyone else need to pick up my slack, but because i made friend with Rei and many others, somehow it could make a change or even more important?"

That's the whole point of the show, Shinji. Except you actually did a good job, mental breakdown otherwise. "Yes."

"I...don't know if me making Rei smile could save the world from my failure, but thanks for suggesting that i could do good and failed at other things at the same time. I...i think i see your point. And somehow, it makes me feel good that i can do things that are...good."

Oh, well. At least that's a start. "Now that's a decent joke."

"I made a joke?"

"The smile that will save the world?" I shrugged as he slightly smiled at the realization. "And i'm not saying that you're a bad pilot. Yes, Asuka has much more grace and better training than you, but your success rate have been better so far. And your second battle showed that you have that ferociousness that any soldier need."

"Eh, Misato actually scolded me because i was trying to be brave in my second fight. I still don't know if i made the right decision."

Ah, how troublesome. Seemed like the first step with Shinji is to make him feel better before i can show him anything else that's wrong. "I'd say that you did the right thing and Misato was an ass in that day, not to mention with what you said earlier, you should feel better because you made a good choice regardless whether it could go better or worse. The monster dead, and no one hurt."

"Yes, you maybe right about the good choice. But Misato's an experienced officer. There must a good reason for why she was so angry to me."

"Could be because she wants order because that's what NERV have been doing so far, could be because she worried for you but still kinda closed to you, but honestly i might never know. And frankly, i need to talk about something else before our time is up, and i don't want to waste it on guessing someone intention. So, uh...what attracted you to Rei in the first place?"

Man, i really need to get more workout. My old body, even when he's so fat, could use a bicycle for 15 minutes without breaking a sweat. I already burnt myself in that same time frame with this girl body. And this's a body with decent amount of exercise in swimming!

So reluctantly, i lowered the pedal resistance. I should've use the second lightest instead of the middle...

"Well, Rei's, um, kinda been a lonely girl, and yet she has a better relationship than my father. I think initially, i'm just intrigued by her, and then, i become jealous, and then i was...sad? And then, relieved because she...smiled at me."

"So somehow my sister made you feel so much mixed emotions. And you like her smile so much you can't help but blush at the memory. And yet, in the end, it all ended well. How fitting for an enigmatic girl like her." I summarized what happened between both of them.

"Wha...what are you trying to do here, actually? I never think NERV want to encourage people in their personnel liaisons."

"NERV will appreciate their pilots have more relaxed stance in their life to help their sync rate, and i'm here for exactly that, but NERV's not the reason for why i'm talking about this matter. I have been talking with Rei, Shinji, and she does feel something for you."

"W...what?"

"Well yeah. We've been pretty open since our first meeting, and i can guarantee about it, my sister really care about you, and there might be even more."

"E...even more?"

"Little crush, or even love. Either way it's more than friendship." Oh boy, he really liked my sister, did he? Look at his cute blush from me mentioned the l word! I may have to worry about incest angst, but the silliness here made me doubt that somewhere in the future, i have to consider that angle. "But i'll warn you, Gendo has more grip on Rei than just friendly relationship. And this grip's not healthy by any means. I won't be surprised if he will do something nasty to both of you, all to make sure that his control on you two will stay."

"Huh? A...are you sure that father's really willing to go that far?"

"Considering that he used Rei's injured body to make you pilot Unit-01 for the first time? Yes. Not to mention that NERV likes iron grip over their employee. I'd say it's custom than anything else for him to force everyone under his control." Shinji's downcast look made me realized that i made him depressed again. "Hey, don't worry. You have people who look out for you, and it's not just me. Misato, Rei, and even Asuka, will be backing you when the time is come to make a decision."

"And i'm planning to do everything to prepare against him. Even..."

"Even...?"

"Even this. Hey, sir!"

Shinji was perplexed by what i'm doing, and almost would face-faulted had he use that treadmill. I mean honestly, how on earth could someone try to toppled a Commander with immunity against government by befriended a gym instructor?

"Need some guide, girl? But honestly, i think you better not doing any weight exercise. Stunting your growth won't do you any good after all."

The gym instructor was not one of the musclebound type. Rather, the type that would do a good job in marathon competition. Lean muscle, i must say. "If i want to look ripped like Trish Stratus, i would call that roided guy there. I just want you to know that we're from NERV, and this is the Pilot of that purple robot."

"Woah! This kid's the one who piloted their most powerful robot? I will never know it from his meek posture and everything!"

"Don't let the appearance fool you, sir. After all, beauty not equal goodness. And this weak-looking boy could pummel everyone when the life of everyone depended on him."

"H...hey! I thought our identity's secret to everyone!"

"Ah, don't worry, Shinji. What could one person do to such a powerful organization?"

Especially when even a good agent like Kaji could do nothing but the bare bone to NERV.

"You got that right, girl. I've been living here for years, and i still know jackshit about NERV. I might be managed to talk with that purple haired woman in a bar last month, but that's it."

"If you want to know some classified information, i will tell you this: My employers have pole up their asses."

"Hah! Like i need confirmation for that." The man snorted at my joke.

"Trust me, man. They don't even like each others that much. I can only vouch for the Major and the trio bridge bunnies. The rest are really unapproachable. Although the vice-commander's maybe nice in his private life, but i can't assure you since i haven't talk much to him."

"So the staffs might be fun to talk to, while the upper statesman have that old man and the long haired woman who might tolerate us peasants on public. Got it."

"You already know some of them?"

"Yeah. They sometimes appeared in official events. Not the most talkative bunch i tell you, but if what you said is true and i get lucky, i might have a chance to talk with some of them."

"Good. Just don't expect to get anything NERV-related!"

"Yeah, yeah. Just take this, kids. Won't do good if you ended up doing the wrong exercises."

Sweet. Guides to reach perfect 10 body for young people.

"P...please don't do that again. I don't think i'm ready to become the topic everytime i walk with you."

"I know, i know. But don't you think it's nice for someone to call you a badass right in front of you?"

"They might not be once they know many of my failures..."

"That's where you got it wrong, Shinji. Not everyone will immediately see you as trash because you disappointed them several times." I countered yet again his depressing talking points.

"But wouldn't that make me undeserving of their love?"

"Sometimes, we love our closest people just because we chose to. Otherwise, there's no reason for people to spend so many money for their elders who already passed the average live expectancy. There are people who will do nice thing without asking for anything but the wellness of that person. And they don't need, or even want you to pay them by anything."

"I...guess that make sense. I mean, Misato did housed me without any reason, and...why can't i think negative things about this matter?"

"Maybe because you start to think that some niceness exist for the sake of being nice? Maybe because deep down, you know that generosity exist? After all, we've been talking about Rei and your second fight, and you did all of that because you're worried for many people, right? So why would you become the only one who would do anything for nothing?"

Shinji didn't say anything but small talk for the rest of our session. All i did in our departing was me asking him to buy ice cream for everyone in his house. And i did give my money for that task of course.

After all, actions can have more impact than words.

-ng-

"MMMPH!"

I squirmed as i turned on the vibrator on the hard mode. Soon enough, i released hard, even i got to squirted for the first time. And once again, a bliss hit me as i managed to reach the multiple orgasms, helped by the squirt.

Damn. Life's good for me. Real, real good.

"Rae?"

Ah. Rei called me again. Too bad since i cannot finish my hattrick. Really, the only possible better thing is to get those threesomes, either all girl nights or two girls and a feminine boy.

So in short, an incest hentai. Whether it's Kaworu or Shinji.

I took off my 8 inches toy (although i believed that even in my bliss, i never managed to push every inches of it) off my well-abused snatch, and composed myself to talk to her. And fyi, i only trim, not shave.

"The Commander has approved your proposal. We're going to do our double synchronization rate this night."

"So soon already?"I muttered as i cleaned myself. How on earth my proposal that have been shut down several times got approved in 48 hours? What caused the so sudden 180 turn? "What about all those...safety regulations?"

"Do not have to be worry. Pilot Ikari have done double synchronization with three different people. It would be illogical to think that somehow we have even bigger risks when we're...physically the same."

"Ah." Honestly, i did not know what else to say. But i had to be careful here. "I'll get myself ready. Anyone we know would be there?"

"Aside from Doctor Akagi? Asuka just finished her own sync test."

Oh crap. I'm not ready to get in wit battle against that red-haired bitch. And forget my usage of that word, but despite my non-existent hatred against the German pilot, i have no desire to get into any fight with such a hair-tempered girl. My mood's not on its best due to Shinji's show of his very low-esteem. "So it's going to be just you and me."

"Yes. Oh, and Rae?"

"Yes, sis?"

"After we finished the test, can we buy a good headphone for...Shinji? I don't think it would be nice for his ears to listen on SDAT every night with poor headphone."

She sounded so..hesitant. Could be...she really wanted to make her first move? "Of course. Anything for you and your boyfriend, Rei."

"P...please don't refer him as my...boyfriend again." The girl stammered! The coldest girl in the town couldn't speak clearly!

"Rei, i'm just teasing you! Just because i called him your boyfriend, that doesn't mean i really thought Shinji has that kind of relationship to you!" I said as i holding my giggle.

But soon, it might not be.

-ng-

Well, finally an update for this story. Honestly, i didn't know what i should do with the story until i decided to skip school until a few more chapters.

On the brighter note, this story actually got cut into two half. The next chapter won't be long.

Anyway, so long, until next time on Evangelion A.D.!


	9. Fun Inside Unit Zero

"So the Twin Wonders finally going to do something about their inferior synchronization rate. Wonderful."

"Watch yourself, Asuka. I don't think no one will appreciate someone who trash talk in front of them out of nowhere." God, she just opened her mouth for the first time this day and she already pissed me off. I knew she had excuses but it seemed that being irritating would

"You're more confrontative than your sister. Compensating for something, like spine to actually fight?"

Watch your hormon, Rae. You knew this girl's being a bitch, but there's a real reason behind that ultra cranked Tsundere act. And besides, it was partly your own fault for tried to look like a naive idealist on your first meeting with the other children. "Perhaps. My primary concern is not to fight the angels after all. I'm here to make everyone more comfortable in fighting the angels by evaluating their psychological state. So i think at least you can cut me off from your rival list, and my sister as well."

"Even friendly rivalry?"

Honestly i didn't know what should i say here. Did she tried to bait me, or was her attempt to force this rivalry was genuine? "I don't know what are you trying to do here Asuka, but don't you think some petty rivalry in a war for humanity could be very anti-productive?"

"People counting their kills in the war sometimes for show-off, so what's wrong with little rivalry?"

"Because i don't want it to ended up having either of you so depressed because you or Shinji lose. I've talked with the boy and trust me, almost none of my attempt to make him braver work. He just ended up blamed himself, and all i did was to make him know that people could love someone who couldn't do anything for them but trouble."

"Huh. Third Child turned out to be even more depressing than i thought. And here i thought he's just a meek boy, but it turned out that he depreciated himself so much."

"And yet he ended up victorious every time. Imagine if he could get behind his anxiety and self-depreciation."

"Meh. Pure luck."

"Is it? It's war, Asuka, and as far as i concern, war could brought the best of someone. There might be a chance for him to become even better than you, all because the war. What would you do when he ended up topped you, while you ended up falling yet another fight, so hard that even i ended up better than you..."

The girl spun around, and pushed me to the wall. Man, she's strong. "YOU THINK THE GREAT ASUKA WILL FALL JUST LIKE THAT?"

"See what i meant? You just blew a steam over something hypothetical, girl. What would happen when he actually did that? What would happen when you actually fell from the grace? For something that's simply hypothetical, you got awfully worked out here, almost as if you didn't want to admit the possibility of it."

My bet that her more mature side would take over after i offered her my logic. Seemed like it worked on my favor as she stopped her assault on me and mumbled, "Okay, you might have a point."

"I take it that you want that talk with me?"

"Yeah, yeah. I will call you later for that. But don't get upset if you can't find anything!"

On the contrary, Asuka. On the contrary.

On second thought, perhaps i still had something else for her. "Still couldn't find that lingerie?"

"H...how did you?"

Her stammered could possibly be her first genuine reaction. "Kaji told me about it."

"Ugh! Your attempt at small talk sometimes sucks, Rae! Here i hope that you're going to be normal. And no. Why?"

"Ah, it just ended up on my hand a few hours ago. And i must say, that based on several observations, including a very tight feeling in the chest, i'm at least...a cup bigger than you." I said as i playing with my tiddies, showing the glorious fullness to the still gorgeous but flatter girl.

Ah, the red-faced of a flabbergasted red-haired girl that slowly turned into a string of loud curses against me was glorious. And it's a win-win, because even if i made her self-conscious, my talk with her maybe would make her realized even more about my point.

Of course, that's if we didn't end up in catfight over bra size. And stolen lingerie.

Wait. Was i really a 14 years old?

I stared at the mirror that i just passed, my hand followed all contour of my body. The result made me frowned.

Damn. I looked more like a short 19-year old woman. This series's more fucked than i thought.

-ng-

"Hey doc, is there any finding that made you decide to do this test so suddenly after being opposed to it for days?"

"I just checked the test between you two. The graph of your brain waves with Pilot Ayanami was unusually singular, despite the obvious difference between your personality that would make your spiritual energy drastically changed. We'd expect a stark difference here that would make it risky considering you two being so similar in body structure, since it could make the EVA get confused at the difference. but instead we got our best candidates for this test."

"Must be the fact that they're twin."

"Could be that, Aoba-san." I simply said something to kill the discussion, not a word talking about how human soul would definitely be different than angel soul.

"Anyway, you two ready? As you can see, you two are going into the three unit that we have. We're going for the purple death first and-wait a minute. Rae, what the hell is this?"

"Just a leftover of the proposal draft. You copypasted that?"

"Actually, i chose MAGI to create the final document from your draft to save time. Either it's not that sophisticated as my mother said, or it actually considered your writing to be important enough to do documentation of it, or it actually developed a sense of humor. So i'll retract,

"Oh my god! Ritsuko's mother created our own version of Skynet!"

"We're doomed!"

"Not again." Misato soon found herself soothing at the long haired man, earned jealousy stares from Kaji and Makoto.

"Rae, i've told you, no talking about dystopian fiction in front of Shigeru for at least a month!" She mentioned one of the staffs to approach the now cowering "This's the last time i showed you any movie that can be scary. Honestly, with all your cynicism, you ought to be far better in watching any scary movies."

"I...i didn't flinch when i watched Terminator 2!"

"That's because it's not horror movie like the first one, dummy. And you cowered in the corner when the Judgement Day dream happened."

"Do you really have

"Connor was burning and screaming as everything exploded around her!"

"In his defense, everyone, that scene's legitimately nightmare material."

"You're not helping, Rae." The doctor sighed at me. And frowned when she noticed the ragged breath of the long haired technician have slowed down to almost manageable level. "Okay, i don't know how acceptance that there's someone who shared your fear could calm you down, but i hope your fear won't hinder us in this experiment, or i will give you the unpaid slip for the next week. Is that clear?"

"Y...yes doctor."

"Yes." Both of us said so in unison. Me here hoping for the best, all the while my sister stayed stoic for the remainder of our session.

-ng-

The test so far went without any incident.

Unit 1, we got 95%. That's higher than both of us combined in Unit-00, but there were problems. The robot, or the bio mech in this case, rejected us on the second test to compare the situation. That means the core, or in this case Yui Ikari's will, had the capability to detect intruders, souls that she's unfamiliar with. So far only Rei that could piloted the purple robot. That means either she rejected me, or i had to get more familiar with her to get acceptance. Either way, that sucked.

Unit 2, surprisingly, got an even higher rate, double of it in fact. This could meant many things, one of them is that despite its status as the first true Evangelion, it still had many experimental parts, one of them could be a booster that got activated whenever there's a second mind that piloted the Evangelion. And unlike the finicky Unit-01, Asuka's mother accepted everyone, as Rei once mentioned that she could piloted the red giant in the battle against Sandalphon. Also, Shinji already tested the robot several times, and Kaworu in the future would piloted it for a brief time.

This meant if they decided that dual piloting's the new future, Rei would be paired with Shinji, and i would be paired with Asuka. Damn it.

"Remind me again, for why Rei still has to pilot this junk despite she's the most loyal to NERV, and have been working and testing for them for pretty much her whole life?" I asked out of nowhere.

"Rei was originally the pilot for Unit-01." Ritsuko took a seat besides us as she explained the logic behind it. "But when Shinji came to NERV, the data we gained from him make it obvious to us that he's the best choice for Unit-01. Zero was about to be abandoned since our test with it resulted in disaster, but we need at least a backup unit in case that Unit-01's not ready for battle, or when we need a robot for another case. And it just happened that Unit-00's the only other available option."

"And Asuka herself? I'm still not sure why you have this very combat ready unit that they only sent after the third, eeh, fifth angel appeared."

"Bureaucracy. It took the failure of Jet Alone for us to be taken seriously. We're always in the risk of running out of funds, not to mention that we still couldn't prove that the angels main target's Tokyo-3."

"Huh. Things i learned today." I whispered to myself.

"Well anyway, now everything went as expected, we'll go for the final test. Unit-00'll going to have that double synchronization test. The reason for why we

"Yeah, but i'd prefer if we get another actual production unit soon. Our compability's more because of the core unit rather than the actual body of the Evangelion itself, so there'll be no more problem than its activation test, and it'll be better to have a stronger robot for us." I said as a subtle reminder of my another proposal.

"Don't worry. We're going to do our best to get Unit-03 from America soon, even if it means we're going to use some parts meant for the replacement of other unit."

"Wait. How's that could be any less disasterous than our current robot?" I asked in bewilderment at the current event that's going to transpire.

"Testing, girl. If the backup limbs from Unit-02 are not compatible with Unit-03, we'll simply use the Unit-00 until we finished the compatible limbs for Unit-03. This might means that we'll have to wait until we get a

"Oh."

"Now, shall we resume the test?"

I nodded as both of us stood, ready to continued our testing. With all these reassurance, what could gone wrong?

-ng-

The synch rate ended up skyrocketed to 350%.

Everybody frantically screamed their head, tried to shut down the eva without any success.

Said eva now not only banging its head over the intercom, but also absorbed us. Yeah, both of us.

Uh oh. I jinxed it.

-ng-

"Huh. I returned to my old self. Neat"

Well, this's my soul after all. Good bye, hot teenager body, and welcome back you handsome thicc man.

Yeah. Despite the lacks of mirror, i could see the large belly of mine and big, hard arm muscles. Aside from occasional worry about my weight impact on my knees and desire to cut some guts to gain better stamina, i'm still happy of my body function overall. Also...

The heck? I still wore the same plugsuit? Oh god, how disgusting! I could see my flabs!

And suddenly, an apparition knocked me to the wall, choked me as she said something in effect of me being not something that existed from here. Well, no shit.

Hmm. I have two options here. One, i could talk my way out of here just like what i always did earlier.

Two, i could knock her out with my powerful blow to her neck.

After i decided that the apparition was too insane to negotiate to, the latter option worked like a charm.

"Well, that's quiet of an anti-climax." I muttered to no one by myself as i turned around to look for my sister.

-ng-

"Ohayo, Rei!" I waved to my sister that has been beholden by some chains in a ruined plain where everything's filled by menstrual blood.

"...Are you the soul for Unit-00's core?" She stared hard at me. Ugh. For a girl with poor social skills she's astonishingly intimidating.

"Nope. It's your sister, unfiltered in her actual gender!"

"...You look unfit." She deadpanned. Oh jeez. That's your reaction at looking at the real appearance of your hero?

"Whatever. I'm not going to abandon you just because you didn't look beneath the surface."

"Are you implying that you're much more athletic than your actual appearance?"

"Well i have 220 bench press on 10 reps if that helped my case. Although if you're counting my stamina and body fat, then yes, i'm unfit to a degree."

"So you're unfit." She bluntly stated it.

"And strong as hell. Anyway, care to tell the story here?"

"I woke up in this position, so i cannot tell

"So they might be ripped a part of your soul to pilot the whole thing. Damn, the whole obsession to masturbation suddenly fitted for why i ended up here."

"That doesn't make-Wait a minute. I met you three days after i touched myself for the first time. It does make sense."

"Good to know that we're in agreement again. Now," I looked around my "As much as i'm proud of my strength, i don't want tor risk ended up being mindfucked by whatever inhabited the core. It's much more animalistic for my taste, and that made me think that being placed in the EVA changed your morality to the more incomprehensible to human beings. In short, negotiation's pretty much cannot be done until we can be sure that we can communicate with it."

"So we're stuck."

"Well..." Man, shit's fucked up. "This's going to be weird, but if the core's soul supposed to used to be part of your soul and linked to us, then this might work."

-ng-

"You know..." I said between my licks. "If this really happened in real world, i would've been charged with sexual assaults on underage."

"You-ah, older than 20? Goodness! Ah, you actually looked like you're 18!"

"Asians don't crack, girl." Slurp. Slurp. "Hell, my father living a stressful life, but you put a wig on him, and he'll look no older than 40."

Well, a job is a job. Considering that we may would not remember all of it, it might be not that traumatizing.

So, uh, yeah. I did a job on my pseudo sister. A cunnilingus, to be exact.

Yeah, that's my suggestion to get the hell out of this place without confronting the spirit that would inadvertently caused one hell combination of headache and trauma. Since both of us linked to the soul of Zero core, i theorized that mental euphoria would weakened it enough for us to deal with it after.

And the most disturbing part of it? She did not think or said anything to rebuke my suggestion. And here i was, sucked and licked her beautiful slits, covered with blue hair that was trimmed.

Okay, i didn't know how the hell she knew how to trim, and why she did it in the first place.

"Hey, can you change your appearance to someone older? It's feel weird for me to do sexual thing to a junior high school student. Your original soul's about billion years old, so i don't think it will be hard for you to change yourself into someone older."

"I...i don't think i could imagine what...would be me in 8 years..." Huh, that's odd. Perhaps she had read something about social taboo.

"Fine then. I'll say that you're eight inches taller and two cups more filled out. Try to think of yourself as someone with bigger waist than chest ratio since you already have shapely hips and firm looking butt."

And just like that. The girl changed into a 5'6 feet goddess with curves in all the right place. Goodness, what a beautiful woman. Soon enough i stood and pressed myself on her, my penis rubbed her flat tummy.

I preserved her virginity for Shinji and her own sanity, but that did not mean i couldn't do anything for my manhood. In fact, it might helped us if we reached the mutual orgasm. I rubbed her clit with my dick several times once in a while before returned to the blow job. Each time it's the time to massage her clit with my weapon, i kneaded her twin orbs for both our arousal. Every time she sounded like she's going nuts, i had to restrain myself from kissing her.

Soon enough the lust have been too much for me that i did the next best thing ever to steamy kiss and penetration. I held her firm, round ass with my hands to grip her better, my manhood rubbed her clitoris rapidly. My head switched between her sizable breasts in every once in a while, sucked and licked her nipples. Her chests were soft, and her euphoric face was alluring. Damn, everything about her was perfect. In the meantime Rei almost forgotten the reason for why we did it in the first place, tried her best to grind her hips against mine to get that release both of us sought so much. Her moans getting louder and louder with every seconds, drove both of us insane.

"I...i think i'm going to..."

And there we goes. Both of us reached rapture, screamed in euphoria that washed both of us.

And goodness! She squirted a lot, like a gallon of it! Damn girl, you're going to make that Shinji boy happy.

"Ah...so good..."

"T...thank you, for preserving my...virginity..." She muttered as she returned into her teenager self. Both of us had a hard time to breath after such a blissful moment.

"N...no problem..." I muttered to her, before i bitterly said an apology to her, "I'm sorry for doing this to you..."

"I...it's okay. It was a necessary task after all. And as i said, you did your best to preserve my virginity."

Yeah." I agreed before i looked around, waited for our ticket to go home. "Will she..."

"CURSE YOU TWO!" The spirit cursed at both of us, despite its ecstatic face said otherwise about her recent rapture moment. Then again, she might felt violated, so...ah, whatever.

Also, she just face planted into her own pool of cum. Yeah, doubled the humiliation.

As i kicked it on the head, everything flashed bright all over us.

-ng-

"Mmmhh..."

Well, that's the familiar wall.

Hohoho! You think i'm going to look into the ceiling first, huh?

I saw my pale skin and soft features. Yeah, i'm a girl again.

Oh, crap. I still remember the steamy moment that almost perfectly substitute sex.

"OH THANK GOODNESS! YOU'RE AWAKEN FINALLY RAE!"

"M...major...my heads till hurt."

"Oh, sorry, Rae." She released me from her grip. Damn, her boobs were massive. Even bigger than Rei who already amazed me. "I'm just so glad that you've awaken."

"Me too, Major Katsuragi."

"I'm so sorry, the first time we have time to talk with each others while none of us are busy is when you get bedridden in hospital."

"That's okay, Major Katsuragi."

"That's Misato to you, girl!"

"Um, is it really cool for us to call each others with first name in NERV?" I asked her in meek voice.

"Don't worry, we're not in duty. Oh, and Rei's being checked by Ritsuko to find if there's anything wrong with her. Say, what's with Rei? She has her own check up routine that only Ritsuko and Commander have privilege to watch to."

I blinked. The heck, did she really wanted to find out things about NERV this soon? "Eh, no offense, but Ritsuko ordered me to hold some secret. All i can say is that Rei has importance in other project that may or may not involving fighting the Angels."

"Oh, Ritsupoo."The woman pouted like a girl who's half her own age. "And here i thought we're friend, but she hold some nasty secrets that she don't want anyone to find, friend included."

"Eh, don't worry, Misato-san. I'm here partly to make sure their terrible secret not going worse anymore as well."

"Well if you say so." Misato dropped "You know, i don't know much about you, so why don't you tell me the story about how you met your long lost sister."

"We're orphan, separated by birth in the midst of Second Impact's chaos." I said without any hiccup that could lowered my acting skill rate. A slight sorrowful look was all that could be seen by her, faked of course. "I just happened to be adopted by different man since we're separated in birth."

"Aww, poor you..." Misato hugged me again. Hooray for boobies!

"I don't think i'm the one who deserve pity. I have a good family, while sis is getting the short end of stick. For one, i don't think being controlled by NERV's coldest man, Gendo Ikari, will be really good for your mental health and development."

"You bet! Even her apartment looked like something more suitable in abandoned city! I tried to put her in more habitable land, but i'm pretty sure it never even reached his desk."

"Or went to his trash can." I avoided her gaze as i had my oh crap moment. If it really went that way, that means Misato could be tracked by Gendo just for being a curious cat.

"Have i said that i'm sorry about how this's our first chance to have a real discussion before?"I nodded just to keep my manner. "Okay, part of why i didn't try to find my time to talk with you before is because i'm suspicious of you. Well, suspicious of Ayanami to be precise. I mean, both of you have your biological parents being filled blank. It's almost like they don't want anyone to know anything about you. Well it's always been like that with Rei, but then you come here, have much friendlier behavior compared to your sister, and you're still a mystery to solve!"

"Sorry for being as much of enigma as my sis."Ah, my voice's weak man. Almost like i'm Rei myself. Wait, what? "But you're right. As much as their secrecy helped people, they also hurt so many in the process. Had i even know my sister's existence years ago, i would sued Gendo for placing her in such a poor apartment. But now my hands are tied, and suing him even i don't think i could win any lawsuit against him, so the best way to get back at him is to make everything...unpredictable."

"Ooh, i like the sound of it. What's the plan?"

"Making love. Both figuratively and literally. I'll force him to lose control, with love."

"You mean..."

"Misato," I asked her, gazed into her eyes, "Have you ever played a matchmaker before?"

-ng-

So that's the end of evangelion- wait, i mean the end of this chapter.

So, eh...i hope i don't scare too much souls with the sexual scene between me and my clone, so eh...hope i don't need to meet you in therapy!

And i hope i'll see you next, in Evangelion A.D.!


End file.
